Never the same Again
by Kaoritears
Summary: AUish : Arizona and Callie had it all and then,everything changed. Callie is moving on, Arizona is stuck. Life have made them strangers to each other but what if change is what they needed to come back together? Calzona endgame.
1. Chapter 1

**AUthor notes : I give a try to that story I've been thinking a lot lately. Let me know if you are like it or not, so i'll write the next chapters or give it.**

 **I'm looking for a beta because english is not my birth langage. So PM me if interested!**

 _The story context : followed the big lines of the show until Africa. Arizona went but came back for Callie. Callie never got pregnant with Mark's kid. The plane crash occured but no one died. There was no cheating with Lauren, no affair with Leah._

It used to be their place.

It was where they met when they were dating and even after, during work most of the times.

They would meet there for lunch when the weather was sunny or just when their schedule was so busy that they haven't seen each other for days.

It was their bench and their friends knew it, and they even teased them about that.

But now it was just a bench, and just a place like any other place in Seattle and even if she didn't want to admit it to herself, Arizona was still hurt when her mind wandered, bringing back to her thought the shadow of the happiest days of her life.

From that spot, she could see the building of Seattle Grace appearing. And that was also another reminder of that former life she loved so much.

She could hear the ambulance coming and going and she could almost feel the energy in the air.  
Seattle grace had been the place where she had become one of the youngest head of department of the country. It was the place where she had acheived a big part of her professional carreer as a peadiatric surgeon and she was till proud of it.  
She had worked there, made friends, accomplished a lot of things. She had even met the woman of her life there, only for a moment it had been the most important and the most amazing place in her world.

And now it was just a painful past she was still unable to think about without allowing a tear to roll on her cheek.

She wiped it as soon as she felt the water pearl tickling the corner of her mouth, coughing a little too much as she tried not to break down one more time.

She readjusted her jacket nervously and checked her phone. It was already 10 and they were late.  
It was usual but she wouldn't say anything. She wasn't able to argue with her anymore and she didn't want to.

« Why don't you stopped pacing and just sit here with me honey. You're going to be sore again. » Barbara told her daughter knowing how much she was impatient.

« It's ok Mom, don't worry about me. » The blonde lied, lighty brushing her thight where her skin met the rubber of the socket of her prosthetic.

« Arizona, I'm your mother, I will always worry about you. » Barbara smiled tenderly, waking up from the bench and walking to her daughter.

Arizona was inded pacing along an invisible line as if it was the border she couldn't cross. And it was almost a real thing in her mind. She wouldn't allow herself to cross it even if it would absolutely not change anything.

« They're late... » She stated, annoyed by that situation.

« It's just half an hour Arizona. » Barbara tried to soothe the atmosphere.

« It is half an hour... » Arizona said, her teeth cringing. « I'm always on time ! I'm even in advance most of the times. »

« MOM ! »

Hearing that voice made her immediately change her behaviour and the biggest smiled appeared on her face, her well known dimples popping.

At 7 years old, Travis was a big boy, taller than the other boy of the same age. He had blue eyes and dark hair, his skin was a little tanned and he was the pride of his mother.  
« Hey buddy ! » Arizona exclaimed as he ran toward her, wrapping his arms around his mother waist.

She kissed the top of his head and stroke his hair.

« I'm so glad you're here ! » Arizona smiled as she helped him putting his backpack on the ground. « How was your week ? »

« It was okay... » The boy replied, not showing any sign of the usual ecxitment he showed when he told Arizona everything he had done during the week he wasn't with her.

« Travis ? What's wrong ? »

« Nothing Mom, don't worry. » He faked a smile and turned to his grandmother. »

« Hi grandma ! »

As he huged the older woman, Arizona frowned and sighed, realising her son was just like her. He didn't to bother his loved one with his moods.

« Mommy ! » Another voice made them turned to see little Olivia.

« What the... » Arizona mumbled, immediately walking to meet her daughter who was holding the hand of a person she didn't want to see. « Why are you here, where is Mark ? »

She immedialtely pick her daughter in her arms, and grabbed the bag from the other hand of the intruder.

« Well, hello to you too Arizona... » Penny Blake stated. « Callie and Mark are stuck in surgery and I have the day off, so we decided it would be easier... »

« What would be easier ? She can't take her phone and text me she's occupied ? » Arizona yelled, giving Olivia to her mother's arm. « It's not up to you to bring my kids... »

« As you don't want to come to the day care, I had to do it, otherwise, you'll have made a scene, one more time. Actually it is actually what you are doing right now. »

« Don't tell me what I'm doing or not Blake. » Arizona snapped. « Anyway, I don't care. Just tell Callie Torres she should inform me when she bring her girlfriend... »

« Fiancée ! » Penny snapped back. « And don't worry, I won't do it again. I wanted to be accomodating, see what happen... »

Surrounding their grandmother, Olivia and Travis were witnessing the scene and Olivia began to cry, unable to stand more yelling.

« See what you're doing ? » Penny statted, walking Arizona to kiss the children goodbye, under the blonde furious look. « Mama and I will pick you up next Monday okay ? I love you. »

« Okay... » Travis mumbled as Penny kissed his cheeks.

Arizona didn't say a word, she just looked the scene, totaly pissed by what just happen. She couldn't stand the redhead younger woman, but wether she like it or not, Penny Blake was a part of her children life now.

She tried not to let the anger obstruct her mind and remembered she had to focus on her kids right now.  
Something was bothering them and she wanted to know why Travis was so silent. It wasn't going to be easy, but she didn't want her son to be depressed if she could prevent it.

« Let's go kiddos ! » She said, walking to join her family, taking their hand in hers as they walked to their car.

« Mommy I missed you. » Olivia said, her eyes still filled with tears.

« I miss you too baby. » Arizona said, feeling the 3 years old gripp on her hand tightening.

« And I don't want it. » Olivia continued as tey reached the black SUV and Barbara helped Arizona settled them on the back seat.

« Shut up ! » Travis interjected, giving his sister a dark glare.

« Travis ! What's the matter ! » Arizona imediately reacted. « Don't talk to your sister like that ! »

« Sorry Liv... » He mumbled.

« So Baby, what are you talking about ? » Arizona asked her daughter who was a little confused by ther brother violent reaction. « What don't you want to happen ? »

« I don't want to have a little brother or a little sister... » the little girl said. « I don't want it. »

« Well, it's not going to happen soon Liv, so, don't worry too much. » Arizona smiled.

« But it is going to happen... » she continued as Arizona looked at her son who was now trying to avoid her gaze.

« What ? Why is she saying that ? » Arizona asked him.

« Because it's true. » Travis sadly replied, knowing he was going to make his mot her sad. « Mama and Penny are going to have a baby. »


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for your welcoming reviews. Love to read them, don't hesitate to let me your thought!**  
 **I'm still looking for a beta reader to correct my mistakes.**

 **Hope you'll like that chapter.**

...

It was a moment she liked after the rush of the surgery.  
She didn't like to postpone her work so she always took the time to write down her post-surgery note, and in ortho, you don't often have to inform the family imediately after the procedure.

She was still in her scrub outfit and cap and she was cooling down, slowly.  
It was her moment of peace just after the rush and the adrenaline.  
Sitting behing her labtop she was focused on her work when Penny entered the room.

« Hey ! You're done already ? » the redhead asked, kissing Callie's lips softly before grabbing a chair and sitting next to her.

« Mmmm... » Callie mumbled, a little annoyed not to be able to enjoy every minute of that particular moment she liked so much. « It was easier than we thought it would be. »

« Well that's great, it means you are free tonight, and we can go out ! » Penny stated, a big smile plastered on her face.

« No thanks... » Callie mumble. « I dont like to go out the first day my kids aren't home you know that. I like to stay at home quietly. »

« But you told me we were going to celebrate ! And believe me, it might be one of the last time before this little one will take all our time. » Penny said as her hand lovingly stroked Callie's stomach, making the ortho surgeon definitely knowing she couldn't argue.

« Penny... » Callie sighed. « We're not even sure it work. It's too soon ! I don't want to build castle in the air. »

« That's enthutiastic. » Penny grumbled, standing up from her chair. « I know we still have a few days to wait before being sure it work, but can't you be happy, or at least pretend to be ? »

« What's that suppose to mean ? Of course I'm happy, but I don't want to jump to the conclusion before I have a blood test telling me I'm pregnant ! Can't you understand that ? »

Penny let a breath she din't know she was holding and looked at her fiancé. She was beautifull, breathtaking as always, but she was so vulnerable that she couldn't do anything else but to take her in her arms and hold her tight.

« I know babe, I know. I don't want to pressure you, but I want to show you how happy and grateful I am. You are going to make me a mother again, and I'm so eager to tell everybody... »

« I know... » Callie weakly smiled. « But please, can't we stay at home tonight ? I promise you we'll go out one night this week. »

« Okay ! »Penny accepeted. « What about a movie night ? »

« Great ! And a Pizza ? »

« You got it ! » Penny smiled. « I'm going to check on a patient and I'm going back home. You'll be ready at 7 ? »

« I guess so. » Callie replied, turning back to work on her notes as Penny walked to the door.

« Don't work too much darling. » She told her fiancé. « I'll see you later. »

« Hey, do you know if Mark gave Arizona Travis's basket ball outift ? I told him not to forget to tell her it was already too shor for him... »

« Well, Mark was stuck in surgery, so I brought the kids. » Penny explained, Callie immediately lifting her head.

« What ? Why didn't you tell me ? »

« Because it's not a big deal. » Penny tried to justify herself. « I did it so she won't send you threatening text or venomious mails. »

« Penny, you know she's not comfortable around you and particularly around you and ... the place you have with the kids. » Callie tried to explain.

« Callie, I know that, but she's a grown up. I know she's not the most stable person but she should handle it. I'm a part of their life now. »

« How did it go ? » Callie asked.

« Well, she screamed at me as usual. She wasn't really happy to see me. » Penny almost laughed. « You should have seen her telling that You should have warned her, that she din't want me to do it... »

Callie closed her eyes and tried to let the pressure building in her body go by rolling her neck. It was a situation she had ever heard and lived before and she hated it.

She hated Arizona's reaction because in all honesty, it wasn't such a big deal for a step mother to bring children to the other parents right ? Well not in her point of view.

She dind't like Penny's way of dealing with the event too. Her fiancé was the queen of adding fuel to fire when it came to Arizona.

And she hated herself because she had the feeling she was responsible for all the tension around her family.

« She's unbelievable sometimes ! Liv cried because she heard her yelled at me. What kind of a mother does that ? Certainly not me ! » Penny continued.

« Enough ! » Callie snaped. « She's the mother of my children Penny ! I wished you can understand that ! »

« I'm painfully aware of that ! I have to share our family with her. » Penny sadly stated. « And I won't apologize for wanting my children to be raised in a peaceful environement. And she's making it very hard. »

« Penny, she's their mother ! » Callie said. « I love the way you're invested by their side, but Olivia and Travis are your step children. I know you consider them yours, but legally, and humanly, they are mine and hers. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, but you have to give Arizona some slack. She's fra... »

« She's fragile, she had gone throught a lot bla bla bla... » Penny cut Callie of. « I know that. Believe me I know that Arizona Robbins is a saint and that she's trying to deal with our relationship. But you and I are together Callie. I know she was your wife and that she's still important to you in a way, that you're bond for erver with her because of the kids. But it's been three year since your divorce. I hoped you'll take my side for once. »

« There's no side to take Penny. I'm just trying to make everybody happy around me. And it's not easy. But as you told me, Travis and Olivia are living with her half of the time. And even if you think she's annoying, we have to deal with it and to soothe the situtation. Not for me, not for her but for the kids. Right ? » Callie explained, walking to meet Penny in the middle of her office.

« Right... » Penny finally admitted. « I'm sorry. I just wanted to help... »

« It's okay. » Callie told her, leaning in to kiss her. « I'll send her a text and everything will be okay. »

« Thank you... » Penny whispered as Callie huged her. « I see you tonigt ? »

« Of course. Can't wait ! » Callie smiled, looking at he redhead walking out of her office.

Bending her head, she walked back to her desk with an unpleasant feeling. She grabbed a photo frame on her desk and looked at it with emotion.

It was as picture of her daughter and her son. Travis was four and was proudly carrying his sister, helped by his grandfather.  
It was a picture she had learn to love. They were so beautiful on it.

But it took her time to face it and to accept it.  
She trace the line of her children face softly, trying to understand how things have changed so fast.

And in that picture next to them, just in an empty space no one would ever notice, her finger lingered a moment.

Something was missing in that perfect picture and it was one of the reason why her life was so complicated now.


	3. Chapter 3

**the third chapter is here. I'll try to post regularly.**  
 **I'm still working on "Even when it's dark", don't wory ;)**

 **Hit the review button if you have a moment ;)**

...

It was a moment she used to spend alone. The moment when most of people are asleep and when the silence has taken over the house.

It was easier whent the kids were home because she was really exhausted. Being a single mother wasn't easy, above all when you're working full time.

It was the moment she could relax after a very busy day, she could let it all go, and most of the times, she would cry in silence. Not for a long time, just one or two tears, just her need to express a pain she wouldn't allow herself to feel during the day.

But tonight was different, and as surprised as she was, she wouldn't cry. She was just stunned and she was feeling numb.

The thing was she didn't want to appear upset because it would show people that she still cared and it was not an option.

She couldn't care, she shouldn't care.

She served herself a glass of wine and drank it, trying to make her bitterness mixed with sadness go away.  
Calliope Torres could date whoever the hell she wanted. She could flirted, she could kiss and have sex with all the people she wanted.  
She could even got married if she wanted to. All those things were reversible.

But a child bond you with a person for ever. And she was the only person on earth who had that link with Callie until now. But apparently that last privilege she was sharing with the woman she love was about to be over.

And she had no right to be upset. After three years away from her, she shouldn't felt betrayed.  
But there was something more in the revelation her son had made earlier.  
Something she wasn't able to face, something she didn't want to face.

She knew Callie was over her. It had been a long time since she knew it.  
But that situation mean she was over … everything, and Arizona was not prepared for that.

« Robbins ! Open up ! » A voice made her jump out of her thought.

She put the glass on the counter of her kitchen and quickly walked to open the back door.

« What are you doing here ! And lower your voice, the kids are sleeping ! » Arizona warned the taller man who almost shily entered the house, a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

« You don't need whine, you need this ! » Mark Sloan told her as she sat at the kitchen table, sighing one more time.

Mark grabbed two glasses and poured them a large glasses of whiskey, not forgetting to put ice in Arizona's.

« Drink that ! » Mark ordered her as he toasted their glasses.

Arizona obeyed, drinking the liquor in one sipe, cringing at the bitterness burning a throat. Mark immediately served them another glasses, and they repeated the same action, before he served them a third time.

« What are you doing here ? Don't you have a wife and a six month old daughter to look after ? » Arizona asked.

« They don't need me right now. You do. » Mark stated, looking directly in his friend's eyes.

If someone has been upset by Arizona Robbins and Callie Torres divorce, it was him.  
Mark was Callie's best friend and Arizona used to be a little jealous of the closeness the duo shared. She had even hated him some times. He was so comfortabe and relax, no matter what happened around him.  
She had learn to live him with him always around and they had tamed each other day after day. Then a plane crashed in the middle of nowhere and they were both stuck in the woods for almost a week, dying slowly. They had promised to each other the one who would survive would take care of Callie and Travis who was just a new born at the time.

And again all odds, they both survived and their friendship was now stronger and indestructible.

« So you know ? » Arizona asked him.

« Yeah. I'm not supposed to, but I was there the other day when Blake « accidentally » blurted it out. » Mark explained. « I'm not sure Callie is aware the kids know. »

« Are you serious ? » Arizona sadly asked.

« I was picking up Mateo from the day care, and Blake was dropping them off there too. And apparently she's bff with one of the nurses there. So she told her that she was sure the IVF worked and that she will soon or later be a mom. » Mark explained coldly, still annoyed by the lack of concern of the redhead. « She was beaming around, telling everybody and of course your son heard it and understood it. He's clever.»

« And how do you know I know ? »

« Because he's your son Robbins. He couldn't have hide it from you. You known him too well. He was too silent this morning when I told him I couldn't bring him to you. »

« Yeah, about that... Blake brought them to me. » Arizona grimaced at the memory of the unpleasant situation.

« I knwo that too... »

« What are you ? A spy or psychic ? » Arizona smiled sadly as she emptied her glass.

« I know what you are thinking right now Robbins. » Mark told her. « I'm your friend and I'm here for wahtever you need. But you know that Callie is my friend too, and no matter what I thought about that bitch she called her girlfriend, I don't understand why she's doing that. »

« She's just living her life Mark. » Arizona sadly replied, breaking her friend's heart as he witnessed the blonde bursting in tears in silence.

He rushed to her side ans wrapped hi arms around her trying to ease the pain but he knew well it was impossible.  
Even if Arizona wanted nothing but seeing Callie happy, she wasn't ready for this and she was realising in mark's arm everything seemed over.

« You're going to be okay Robbins. » Mark said, his shirt soaked sith his friend tears. « I'm here. You have your kids, your job. You're going to survive this like allways. »

« I don't want to cry. She's allowed to... to have a family on her own. I don't have a say in that. But I don't know how she can do that. I couldn't... Not after...»

« It's her way to cope maybe. » Mark said. « I'm sure Blake put pressure on her. That bitch is so... »

« Please Mark... She's with Callie. And we have to accept that. » Arizona admitted. « I don't like her either but she's a part of my kids life and apparently, her story with Callie is meant to last. So I have to suck it up. »

« No you don't ! » Marck snapped. « She's always taunting you and downgrading you every time she had an opportunity to do it. And when Torres will open her eyes, I'm sure she will left her. »

« They're going to have a kid Mark. You know Callie, she is comitted. She will never do that. And anyway it doesn't concern me. » Arizona grabbed the bottle and served herself another large glass.

« Nothing is sure yet. She was bragging about an IFV. It's not sure it worked. » Mark replied, hoping he was saying the truht.

« Even if they're not pregnant, they will try again. It's a family they are trying to build Mark. And I wish Callie to succeed. It was always her dream. And we had it before... before everything happened. If i'm not the one who can provide her what she dream about, so I have to let Penny Blake do it. »

« This is just some bullshit you're trying to believe Arizona and you know it. » Mark angrily told her friend.

« What? » Arizona gasped.

« You are just so wrapped in your sadness and your guilt, you didn't even try to fight for your family ! And I know you're not over her. You're miserable, and you've been miserable for three years ! » Mark said louder. « If you had the guts to admit that you both fucked up, maybe you wouldn't be apart, you drowning yourself, and her trying to play house with that stupid fellow ! »

« Out ! » a voice made herself heard.

Arizona and Mark turned to find Barbara Robbins looking at them with a death glare.

« Markus Sloan, get out of here before you'll say something you'll regret ! Go home to your wife and your son and let me take care of Arizona. »

« But Barb... » Mark tried to argue.

« Go home Mark ! » Barbara reitered.

« I'm... Okay... » Mark finally agreed, turning to look at Arizona who was now totaly devastated by her friend's word. « Arizona... I'm... »

lifting her hand up, Arizona didn't want to hear anymore. He migt have been her friend, his word had hit her badly.

« And now you're going to talk to me young Lady. » Barbara turned to her daughter, Mark leaving the room silently, ashamed by what he just said to one of the person he cared the most.

Walking to his car, he automatically checked his phone where a text was waiting to be read.

« 911 OCR 452 » which was the message Callie sent him when she needed to see him in emergency case.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for your reviews!  
Chapter 4!

« I screwed up... » was the first things Callie said as Mark entered the on-call room where she had been waiting for him for hours, prostrate in the angle facing the door. Her whole body was like frozen and she was so pale it immediately worried her friend who locked the room behind him so nobody would interrupt them.

« So it makes two of us... » Mark confessed.

« What ? » Callie asked, knitting her brows.

« Nothing... Just... Nothing... » Mark lied. Now was not the time to talk about what he told Arizona. He was sorry to have blurte it without warning, but in a way he felt relieved because it was what the thought deep down. « What did you do Torres ? »

Callie straigthened her position her back and her head totaly lined against the wall. Mark was probably the only one who would understand.

« I'm in trouble Mark... Like in big trouble... » Callie repeated, a nervous fake smile appearing on her lips.

« What happen ? You lost a patient ? » He asked her, trying to find the reason his friend was panicking in front tof him.

« No, it's not that... Oh gosh... Why did I do that... » Callie continued, her hands covering her mouth.

« You killed someone ? »

« What ? No ! Are you crazy ? » Callie yelled. Mark was always teasing her, and it was not what she was expecting from him now.

« Hey, you text me in the middle of the night, you're acting weird... Tell me... »

« I'm so stupid... » Callie said. « I shouldn't have ask you to come. »

Shaking her head, Callie was totaly lost and decided she couldn't talk about it. She took a deep breathe and was about to left the room when Mark grabbed her shoulder and made her stop.

« Callie, what's wrong ? Tell me ! »

« I lied... » Callie mumbled, her body was now shaking in fear. Mark knew she was restraining her sobb but she was not really good at it.  
Arizona was the one who was able to hide her pain behind a convincing fake perky attitude, but Callie couldn't do it. She was an open book and Mark knew her too well.

« About what? » the plastic surgeon inquired.

« It's a long story... I'm so pathetic... I was affraid if I told her no, she would left me... » Callie ranted, turning to Mark but her gaze was lost in space. « I couldn't... It was impossible. But she insisted so much. And she was so excited... »

« Callie, I don't understand what you are talking about... » Mark explained, grabbing her by the shoulder and shaking her to make sure she was with him.

« I... Penny... » She mumbled, swallowing hard. « She wants a kid, with me... she... I told her I wasn't really comfortable with the idea, having already 2 kids... you know... »

Mark took Callie's hand and lead her to the bed. They sat on it and so the story was about to be told.

« She was always on my back, saying I didn't love her because otherwise I'd be thrilled with the idea of expanding our family with a kid who would be ours, you know ? » Callie stared at her friend looking for understanding. « And she was so eager and so... »

« Persistent, almost forcing you I'm sure. She's so... » Mark cutt her off.

« Mark ! » Callie snapped.

« Sorry... Keep going. »

« It was all she kept talking about, day and nigth. So... I... Gosh. I'm so pathetic... »

« What is it Callie ? »

« I told her « yes » even if I wasn't totaly in. » Callie confessed, guilt making her almost disgust by herself. « And she was so happy... »

« Callie, go to the point because Blake's mood is not something I want to hear about... » Mark rushed his friend.

« I lied to her. She thinks I went to an appointment to... » Callie paused for a minute. « I can't be pregnant because I cancelled my appointment the day of the insemination. »

« Oh... » Mark simply replied, relieved by the confession.

« That's all you have to say ? I'm telling you I lied to my fiancé who think I'm pregnant and you're just... »

« Callie, I don't like her. I never have and never will. So when you're telling me you're not pregnant of a child you were going to raise with her, yes, I'm glad. » Mark admitted.

« I'm a horrible person ! And so are you ! » Callie gave Mark a dark glare.

« There's a really good reason it happen. » Mark replied. « And you're right, you're pathetic. »

« Thanks a lot for your support Mark. » Callie whined.

« Torres, look at you. You're not happy with that woman. She's patronizing you, belittling you. You're an amazing woman, a rockstar surgeon. She's a fellow ! But here you are, bending for her where you weren't giving your wife and mother of your children any slack! »

« Shut up Sloan ! You don't know what you're talking about. » Callie retorted. « Leave Arizona out of that ! »

« I do know what I'm talking about. I'm the best person to know what I'm talking about ! » Mark replied. « Look at you ! You're not even able to tell your girlfriend you don't want another kid and you're lying to her like a happen to you ? »

« That's what I'm trying to tell you ! I'm a jerk ! » Callie replied. « I was so relieved that day when she was paged for an emergency... »

« And what would have happened if she hadn't been paged ? » Mark immediately put the reality in front of Callie.

« I... I... I don't know... » Callie stuttered just before bursting in sob.

« That's the problem. You know I love you Callie. I just don't know what you want from me. » Mark said in a soft voice. « I don't know what you are trying to prove by being with Blake,but you have to ask yourself the good questions. »

« I don't have a clue about what you're talking about... » Callie replied, trying to wipe the tear rolling down her cheeks. « I want her to be happy. I want to give her what she wants, but this... it's the thing I can't... Not after … You know ? »

« I know. And I also know that having a child has to be a mutual decision in a couple. Wheter you tell her you don't want that, or you keep on lying until she find out you've been fooling her. »

« I can't... She will left me ! » Callie yelled.

« So what ? » Mark said. « It wouldn't be the end of the world. You deserves so much better than her ! »

« Stop that Mark, I know you don't like her. But she's my fiancé and I just need some times I guess. » Callie lied to herself. « I will work on it. I just have to stop whining and rehashing the past. I'm sure I will figure it out. I have to. »

« Callie, you're saying it yourself, you're not ready to have another child ! Don't push yourself ! »

« I have to ! » Callie yelled again.

It was a wasted effort. Mark knew that Callie wouldn't admit to herself the truth unless he brought the real reason on the table. It was low and his friend will surely resented him, but it had not other choice.

« Does she knows ? » he asked quietly.

« What ? » Callie snorted

« Blake. Did you tell her about Terry ? » Mark precised.  
And there it was, the forbidden name, the biggest taboo of all.

« Don't ! » Callie pointed a finger at her friend.

« Callie... »

« Don't ! »

She stood up from the bed and raised her hand in front of mark to prevent him from approaching her. That conversation was over for was over for now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 is here.**  
 **Again, sorry ofr the mistake!**

 **THanks for the reviews, love them!**  
 **Hit the button one more time to share your feelings about the story.**

...

Pain was something she was accustomed to feel.  
A pill would ease it when it was physical, a drink would make it worst when it was psychological.

But she didn't know how to do it otherwise.  
She drank too much and it was her fault. She shouldn't have done that, especially with her kids home.

But she was up and she had to take care f the breakfast. She swallowed some aspirin quickly and rubbed her temple, hoping her hangover would go away.  
Mark's word were echoing in her head, mixed with mental picture of Callie and Penny playing with a perfect healthy baby, smiling at them.

She felt so stupid deep down. She had no right to feel that way.  
Callie was with Penny for more than a year and it was logical for their relationship to evolve.

It had all happen so fast, too fast.  
Callie was known for rushing things. On every plan, she was impatient, passionate, excessive some times in the best or the worst way.

As soon as she met Penny Blake, she was ready to create a whole new life with the younger woman. They moved in together a couple of month after Callie presented her girlfriend to her children and it had been a delicate period for everybody.

Penny had wanted to act like a parent to Travis and Olivia and it had resulted into heated fight between the two ex wives.

Callie blamed Arizona to prevent her to move on and Arizona reproached Callie wanted to erase her from her children's life.  
The argument were only adressed to each octher by emails.  
They weren't not able to face each other for months at that point of what remain of their relationship.

The few occasion they would see each other was related to Travis and Olivia medical appointment or school reunion.  
They remained civil during those event. It was awkward and always nerve breaking, but they had to do it for their children.

So Arizona would keep doing that, for their sakes and to respect her ex wife. She would put a brave smile on her face and smile, like always.

« Hurry up grandma ! » Olivia suddenly made herself heard, making Arizona jump. « We're going to be late ! »

« I'm coming ! » The older woman replied, as the little girl and her brother entered the kitchen.

Today she was going to the zoo with her grandmother and she was ready for that big adventure.

« Slow down Kido ! » Her mother laughed as the family settled at the table for their breakfast. « You have to eat your cereal first and then you'll go. And of course grandma get the time she needs to have her breakfast. »

« But we're going to be late ! »

« Olivia, it's only 9:30 and the zoo open at 11. You won't be late. » Arizona stroked her hair.

« And why aren't you coming with us ? » Olivia asked.

Arizona gasped, taken aback by the question. But luckily Barbara was here.

« Because I wanted to have you for me, and only me ! » The older woman smiled and tickled Olivia's rib, the little girl laughing loudly at her grandmother antics.

« So what's the program for you today Travis ? » Barbara asked her grandson as Arizona served her a tass of coffee, giving her a thankful look. « Where am I dropping you off ? »

« I'm going to Riley's. We're going to the ice rink with his father. » the boy replied with excitement. « And then I need go to the mall to buy a new basket outfit ! »

« We are ? » Arizona asked her son.

« My old one is too short. Mama was supposed to tell you. » Travis explained, a little disappointed.

« Oh... Yeah I … I just forgot ! Of course we're going... » Arizona tried to cheer her son up.

« You're sure ? »

« Sure Travis. I pick you up after lunch, okay ? » Barbara replied, taking the lead.

« Okay... »

It was that kind of little details Arizona hated. But it was her fault. She wasn't able to communicate with Callie and apparently, the brunette was busy right now.  
It was not supposed to be like that. It was not supposed to affect their kids daily life.  
They were supposed to be a family.  
But not anymore.

As Barbara left the house with her grandchildren, she kissed her daughter cheeks.  
« Try to relax darling. » she said. « I know you are … upset. But try to think to something else. »

Giving her mother a sad smile, Arizona bend and kissed her children.

« Be good to grandma ! » She warned them gently. « Have a good day ! »

Closing the door behing her family, Arizona let a deep breath escape.

The timing was horrible. Learning about Callie baby project the day before was like a slap in her face.

Today was the third anniversary of the worst day of her life and she was one more time alone to spend it.

She would always do the same thing every year since that horrible day.  
Did Callie even remember ? Did she care ?

How was she able to move on so easily ?  
Arizona had no answer to those question. Was she the only one mourning?Was she the only one who wanted to remember him ?  
Why was everything so complicated for her ?

Loading up the dishwasher, she checked her phone. Nothing.  
What was she expecting ?

She wanted to cry but she had no more tears left.

If Callie had listen to her, everything would have been different.  
She wouldn't have known him, she wouldn't have see him and it would have been easier.

They wouldn't have lost each other, they wouldn't have hurt each other. And their family would always be united.

She was lost in her memories when her phone vibrated. She checked it one more time, thinking it was just Barbara checking on her, or Mark who would try to apologize.

 **« _Travis need a new basket outift. »_**

It was the only word she could read from her ex wife. Just material and practical conversation about the kids.

She wouldn't answer it. Anyway, her mother would take care of it and everything will be okay.

And then a second text arrived.

 _ **« You're not alone in this. I wish you could understand I miss him every second. »**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**an emotional chapter 6 with little details revealed.**_  
 _ **Hit the review buton if you like it, or even if you don't like it :o !**_

A last effort and she might be able to evacuate all the emotions she was keeping for herself.

Kate was waiting for her in front of the door. It was almost dark outside and she was a little late. She had wanted to come for month but wasn't able to take the course.  
But Kate had insisted and she hoped it would help her.  
She had told Callie how it had saved her. It was not easy in the begining. But once you were in the process, she assured her she would find some peace and maybe, some solace to her distress.

« Hey ! Sorry, I'm late. » Callie nervously smiled.

« It's okay, there's not really a time to arrive. The most important is that you're here. » Kate smiled.

The two women met two years ago at the hospital. Kate's daughter, Emma, needed a hip reparation and Callie had operated on her.

The relations between the mother and the daughter seemed complicated and Callie had tried to ease the tension between them as she worked on Emma's case.  
She learned that since Emma's twin sister died in an accident the year prior, the young girl had been really depressed and she had turn her sadness and her anger toward her parents, shutting them off.

Kate's was at loss. Her husband had started drinking and was drowning himself in work to avoid the conflict with his daughter.

Her only child was mistreating her and the family was totaly falling apart .

A few months later, they were back at Seattle grace for a check up after Emma's surgery, and the family Callie rediscovered was more united than ever.  
It was the total opposite of what she had witnessed the first time she met them.  
As she talked with Kate, she learned she found a way to deal with the aftermath of the loss of her daughter and managed to stand up.

She and Callie kept in touch for a while and Kate had learned more about her and about her personnal situation. That's how they became friends.  
Kate was her shoulder to cry on because she understood Callie's pain. She had undergo it and she wanted to help. She had told her she needed to talk about it and she knew how she could do it.

That's why Callie was here that night, nervous as hell.

« Let's get in ! »

Kate opened the doors and lead Callie to the center of the room where a dozen people were gathered in circle, sitting on chair and listening to one of them.  
The two friends quietly grabbed chairs and joined them.

They listened respectfully to two testimonies before the person in charge of the groupe smiled at the newcomer.

Callie smiled in return, not wanted to talk. She was not really convinced by the utility of the support group system. And she wouldn't share her pain with strangers when she had been unable to figure things out with her own wife.

« It was the worst period of my life. But after everything, I finaly made peace with myself, and I'm in a better place now. I will always miss him, but now I'm able to talk about what happened openly, and I'm not mad and sad all the time. »

The group applaused the man who had just share his experience with respect. Some of the members gently pating his shoulder to show their support.

« Anyone else want to share ? » the leader of the group asked around. « Kate's friend maybe ? »

« Oh, no... No thanks... I'm good... » Callie mumbled. « I came here to... Kate had been talking about your group for so long... I'm just accompanying her. »

« Ok, maybe another time. » The man replied.

« I don't know if I'll come back, it's just a... It's just curiosity. Sorry... » Callie tried to justify herself as every eyes were now on her. But strangely, she wasn't feeling suffocated. On the contrary, she felt comfortable.

« I mean, it's not just curiosity because I've been throught what you've been trought and I'm not sure I'm... » Callie hesitated. « I'm still … I have to work on it I guess... »

She stopped and looked around her. She felt only support and respect in the other people eyes.

« We are on friday. And I hate fridays... It's been three years since I lost my son. »

Kate put her hands on Callie's knee to reassure her support.

« It's been so long since I talk about him... » Callie wiped the tears emanating from her eye discretely. « My w... My ex wife and I we were expecting our second child. We already had a three year old son, and we just had a rough year. She was injured in a crash and lost a leg. She lost her father from a heart attack and her best friend from cancer in a short amount of time the same year and we thought we needed something positive to move on. We always wanted more kids, and it was a beautiful project. So we tried, and it worked the third time. I carried our first son, and she wanted to carry the second one.»

Callie paused for her minute. She realised how easy it was to speak, even if it was painful.

« So it worked, and we were pregnant. » She smiled with melancholy and sadness. « We learned that we were expecting twins on a friday. I remember her face when she saw the ultrasound. She was in heaven. I was totaly excited. It was a big news. We were thrilled. It was a boy and a girl. And things fell apart pretty quick. We learned that our boy was severely sick. Different options were brought by the doctors. And we knew everything about that because we are both doctors. »

Callie paused again, remembering the fight she and Arizona had. It had been the most horrible perido of her life and it was in a way the begining of the end of their mariage.

« We did not had the same point of view about how to deal with our options. We were in total opposition. And then... Well, finally, she took my side and we tried to do everything we can for the pregnancy to be ok. In the end, the babies were born on a friday again. » Callie remebered. «It was horrible. We were planing the birth of our daughter who appeared to be healthy, and we were already talking about the funerals of our son the same day. We were barely able to communicate our feelings and we fought all the time.

"It was hard. My ex wife had a severe bleeding. She was took the OR as soon as she delivered the babies. And she made it, as always. She's almost immortal. »

The members of the group smiled at the comment and Callie continued.

« And, I don't want to enter in the details but our daughter, Olivia was a beautiful baby. She was strong and amazing. And so was Terry. He was so small and so pale. I was alone with them for the first hours, as my ex wife was in surgery. And I bond with them immediately. But we knew Terry was very, very deeply sick. It was almost a miracle he survived his birth. And he fight to stay alive. He fight hard. But as my wife was getting away from me and our family emotionally, Terry's state deteriorate slowly. But each day he was fighting. And we gave him all we could give him but... »

Callie's emotion were overwhelming her. Kate pated her back in support to help her revealing the so hard truth. « But he died a little more than a month later, on a friday again. And since then, I hate fridays.»

Callie burst in sob in front of everybody. It had been so long since she had allowed herself to think about it. She tried so hard to forgot the pain but it was impossible.  
And crying all the tears she had kept, in front of those strangers, she didn't realise that in the back od the room, near the coffee and the cakes the members would share after their emotional confession, there was a personn almost hidden from her.  
A little blond woman she used to love was leaning against the wall, totaly frozen in place, and she was crying in silence.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A big thank you for your review.**_  
 _ **I'm really enjoying reading them!**_

 _ **The next chapters might take a little more time to be published as I found a beta!**_

 _ **Enjoy your reading!**_

...

A split of second...  
That's what it took Arizona to leave the room and for Callie to see her ex wife was there.  
The people around her didn't even notice what was happening and they just turned their head when the noise of the slaming doors was heard.

Callie found herself helpless. She didn't know what to do. She mumbled some words, looking at Kate even she knew her friend didn't even knew Arizona.

She was on her own and she had to do something. She suddenly excuse herself and tried to catch up her ex wife.

She walked as fast as she can, still ovewhelmed by the confession she shared with all those people she migt never see again.

It had been so easy. They had been really attentive at her words and they understood her pain. But they were not involved in her story. They weren't there. They haven't lived everything she and Arizona ha d been throught.

As she opened the back door leading to the parking lot, she saw the shape of Arziona who was frantically diging in her purse.

Relieved and also scared by the idea she wasn't already gone, Callie decided she wouldn't flinch. She would do something right now. She didn't have any idea what she could say or do but she had to do it.

Arizona and her had been so distant since they decided to end their mariage. All the papers and arrangement were done by their attorneys, they had avoiding any kind of contact throught the years. The only time they were in the same room was when they had to. It was only regarding their kids life and even when it happenned, they barely talk to each other.

Communication was always a part of their problems and they were not talking by mails and text.

There had only been that occasion, at Alex Karev Wedding.  
Callie wasn't supposed to be there and Arizona had been really clear toward Alex when he invited her.

The young man had invited his mentor and friend. It was totally normal for him. Even if she was now working in another hospital, she was still important to him.

But Joe, Alex's wife, was working in orthopaedics with Callie and she wanted her at her wedding.

The two women found themselves nose to nose in the bathroom and it had resulted a heated argument over where the kids would spend their christmas hollidays.

In the end, Arizona wasn't able to face her former coworkers who had heard everything. She couldn't stand their gaze on her, the pity and the reproach in their eyes. So she left the party in a hurry.

It was that scene Callie had on her mind as she approached Arizona who was still looking for her keys in her purse.

« Arizona... » Callie almost whispered from behind and Arizona's body tense instantly. The bonde closed her eyes and grit her teeth.

« _Not tonight... Not Now Please...' »_ she thought to herself.

« Please... » Callie insisted. Already knowing it was going to be hard.

Arizona wouldn't acknowledge Callie's presence and finally grabbed her keys. She didn't loose a second and opened her car but felt her wrist being grabbed.

« Get away from me ! » She coldly said, the tone of her voice shaky.

« Arizona... I... What... » Callie tried to find something to say. « Can you please listen to me ? »

Arizona tried to get rid of Callie's grip on the sleeve of her jacket. It was not happening and she wouldn't let Callie dictate what she would do.

« I need to go please. » Arizona continued, but Callie pulled her sleeve a little more and she had to turn her body and was now face to face with the womans she used to share everything.

« I think we need to talk. » Callie wandered.

« I have to go, can you please let my sleeve go ? » Arizona asked, looking at the ground.

« Can you please look at me ? » Callie softly asked her. « I'm sorry I didn't know you would be there... »

Arizona swallowed hard, trying to figure a way out of that pathetic situation.

« I need to go. » She repeated, her voice now filled with emotions.

« Can you at least look at me ? » Callie insisted. She felt her ex wife so vulnerable at the moment it was breaking her heart. She realise how she seemed small. She had lost a few pounds again, she was so tense her body was shaking but she was doing everything she could to hide it in a pure Robbins way.

« I need to go. The kids are home with my mother and she... » Arizona stopped herself, didn't want to be too familiar with Callie, but she eventually raised her head and her blue eyes met Callie's gaze directly for the firs time in months.

« Hey... » Callie smiled, relieved to be able to see her face. « I think... Maybe we should do something with the kids some day. Like a diner or something... »

Totaly surprised by what she just asked, Callie felt stupid.

« I don't think it's a good idea. » Arizona coldly replied.

« I... Maybe it's too much... We might just go for an ice cream after school ? » Callie insisted.

« I can't do that. I'm sorry. » Arizona confessed. « I can't. Sorry. »

« I... Okay... » Callie sighed. « I just want everything to be as normal as it can for them. We haven't really talk lately and I think Travis is a little sad. We might try to cheer him up don't you think ? »

« Sure. He will have everything he need to cheer up in a few months right ? » Arizona stated, her tone now colder than ever.

« What ? » Callie wondered. « What are you talking about ? »

« Nothing... Just... » Arizona mumbled as she turned to open the door of her car.

« Arizona ? » Callie insisted. « What's the problem ? Did he told you something ? I have the right to know ! »

« You have all the right in the world Callie. » Arizona bitterly said. « But next time you're making plans about having a kid with your girlfriend, make sure to warn your two other kids before they heard a conversation they were not suppose to hear. »

Arizona didn't wait any answer. She got in her car and left a speechless Callie in the middle of the parking lot. 


	8. Chapter 8

_**Thanks a lot for your reviews!**_  
 _ **I really need them to see if I'm clearly giving you the story I have in mind!**_  
 _ **This chapter was corrected by Alex who work on it.**_

 _ **Thanks a lot my friend!**_

 _ **Enjoy it !**_  
 _ **Reviews are always appreciate!**_

 _ **...**_

A few days after their unexpected talk, Callie and Arizona hadn't texted or emailed each other. Arizona had done everything to forget about it.  
It was almost unreal when she realised how fate seemed to have brought them in that room three years after Terry died.

And even if she didn't want to give Callie any credit, she was on the same page regarding Travis.  
Their little boy's behaviour far from what it usually was. He was no longer patient with his younger sister, he was more tense as well as being cranky.

When his mothers split up, he was four years old and even at his young age; he understood his life would never be the same again.

He remembered the happy times when Arizona and Callie were so happy and in love. They were amazing to him. He felt loved and safe. There were never any fights or arguments before the announcement of Arizona's pregnancy

At first it was pure joy; their family was growing and both mothers were ecstatic. But then, something changed, which affected him greatly as he took to the changes badly.

Maybe Callie was right. Maybe they needed to do something for their children as a family.

But were they still a family? Everything would change in a few months when Penny will officially be Callie's wife and when the couple would welcome their first child.  
So, what would be the point of doing that?

Arizona was sure she couldn't bear to see Penny Blake, happiness spread across her face. But, if it was the price to pay to see her children happy and balanced, she would do it.

Thinking back, she realised that Olivia will only have memories of Callie and Penny as a couple raising a family. That made her stomach churn. Her daughter was only six months old when they broke up and she will never have any memory of Callie and her as her parents, living under the same roof.

It was late that night and she wanted to talk to somebody. Her mother wasn't the good call. Of course, she knew her mother loved her, but, she was not really objective in the story.

She should call Teddy, but she was just back from Germany and apparently, she was having some personal problems of her own. She didn't want to interfere or harass her with the mess that was now her life.

That left her with Mark. She knew he will be the only one able to listen to her rant, and he might give her some good advice.  
She dialled his number, taking her cup of coffee and settled on her couch, wrapped in an old plaid.

« Hey... » Arizona said as soon as the call was taken.

« Hey... » Mark replied, surprised she called him. They hadn't talked since Barbara threw him out of her home.

« Are you busy? I can call later. » Arizona asked as she heard people talking and music in the background.

Mark was at Joe with some colleagues, and among them was Callie. He immediately looked at her without noticing it. Seeing the embarrassed look on her friend's face, Callie knew who was calling him.

« No, it's okay. I'm just going to go outside for a while. I'm just having a drink after work, you know? » He replied as he stood up and left the booth he was with the other surgeon.

« Yeah... » Arizona nostalgically said.  
Of course, she knew. She used to do it regularly when she was with Callie. But now, working At Seattle Presbyterian, she wasn't looking for any kind of relationship outside of work with her co-workers.

« So what's up? » Mark wandered, leaning against the wall.

« I... Callie and I... We talked. » Arizona mumbled.

« Really ? When ? How ? » Mark surprisingly asked.

« We kind of bump into each other. »

« Kind of? » Mark smiled.

« Never mind... » Arizona stopped him. « She asked if we would do something with the kids, in a family way... »

« Oh... Okay... » Mark simply replied. « And what do you think about that? »

« I don't know. She's saying Travis is sad, and she want to make him smile. » Arizona said quietly. « I told her I wasn't ok, but thinking back, she might be right. »

« You're ready for that Robbins? It's great! I mean... It's a huge step for you, but it would be amazing for Travis and Olivia. » Mark said, intrigued by the news. « You need to talk about it again, I guess. Set some rules for it not to be awkward. »

« I don't know if I'm ready for that. » Arizona panicked. « But, I want to give it a try. I don't really know how to do it though. »

« Just call Torres. » Mark simply stated.

« Well, when I'm saying we talked, it's maybe a little too much. In fact, she talked, and I just repeated to her I wanted to go. I wasn't able to look at her. » Arizona confessed. « So, calling her is going to be hard, I think. »

« Send her an email. A real one. One where you tell her what you want, what you're waiting for. Be clear with her. If you're not ready, don't begin it. The kids will be a mess if it fails. » Mark gave his point of view. « You just have to talk about it. »

« An email... I think I can do that, right? » Arizona looked for reassurance.

« You can do it Robbins. You just have to let her know what you think about her proposal by telling her how you feel. Tell her you're open to the idea, but that it might take some time. »

« Well, we don't really have that much time because she will be busy in a few months with her new baby and her wife... » Arizona stated, still hurt.

« Well, you should talk to her about that too... » Mark replied.

« I might have told her something already. Something not very nice."

Mark smiled at the tone of Arizona's voice. It was the tone she used to have before, almost childish. At the same moment, he saw Callie getting out of the bar and walking toward him.

« I have to go, sorry. But do it, and keep in touch okay? »

« Okay... See you... » Arizona said.

« Bye! » Mark replied quickly, hanging up and quickly stored his phone in his pocket.

« Is everything ok? » Callie asked her friend.

« Yeah... Everything is great. » He smiled.

« Did she mention me? » Callie worriedly asked.

« What are you talking about? I was talking to Shepherd! » Mark lied.

« Sure... He just arrived at your table and was looking for you thirty seconds ago. » Callie punched his arm lightly.  
« Ouch ! »

...

Arizona was cracking her phalanges as she moved her finger up her keyboard.  
She was going to do it. She would write that email and tell Callie she was considering her proposal, but she would also express her conditions and maybe they would be able to do it.

 _« Hey... Hi... »_

She stopped, not really knowing how to begin her mail.

 _« Hey, Hi... »_  
 _It's so pathetic of me._  
 _« We shared 7 years of our lives together and I'm here, not knowing how to talk to you... »_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Thanks Alex for your help!**_  
 _ **You rock!**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter and leave a review ;)**_

...

Taken aback by his friend's question, Mark knew he might try something.  
For the first time since Callie and Arizona had broken up and as one of the only common friends the two women both still communicated with, Mark felt it might be the perfect timing to open their eyes. He was so certain that his friends were soulmates, but he had never really learned what had been the breaking point in their marriage, or how they ended up divorced.

« Right it was Robbins you were right. » He replied nonchalantly. « Why do you even care? "

« Stop that Mark, you know that I will always care. » Callie punched his arm again. « I always have. »

« I know... » Mark knowingly nodded.

« So, did she mention me? » Callie insisted.

« Maybe. »

« You know we talked? Well, it'd be more accurate to say that I talked to her.

She wasn't really talkative. » Callie regretted. « I hadn't see her in a while. She was so on edge, so distant... »

Mark didn't say anything, he decided to let Callie talk.  
« And she knows about... Well she thinks that she knows... But, how could she? Do you think she looked in my file? She heard I had an appointment? »

« No, you know she wouldn't do that. » Mark reminded Callie.

« But how in the world could she… »

« I knew too... » Mark cut her off, fearing she was about to going in circles and might ending by blaming her ex-wife. « I knew before you told me. »

« What? » Callie gulped, totally shocked by her friend's revelation. « What's going on? Nobody could… what happened? Did a nurse talked to you? Did you cheat on Lexie with my OBGYN? »

« Blake was telling everybody, apparently, behind your back. And your kids heard it too and then they told Arizona. » Mark explained. « Your girlfriend wasn't shy about it, believe me. I'm sure that half of the staff know that you are trying. »

« No... Penny wouldn't do that. I told her I wanted to keep it between us and wait for it to be real. We weren't supposed to tell anyone before the end of the first trimester... » Callie retorted.

« When are you going to stop putting her on a pedestal Torres? She's always been a pest. She was already intrusive the first time you introduced her to me. I've never been able to stand her. She's so fake and arrogant nor does she care about you. She's just so pleased to be in a relationship with a nationwide known surgeon who is making big change in the ortho field. That's the only thing that matters to her. » Mark said, knowing he was hurting her. « And what about you? What are you doing with her? She's everything you have always hated; negative, opportunistic, jealous. You just wanted to prove yourself you can get back on track and she was there, begging for attention. You're trying so hard to show the world that you have a perfect life. But it's just a facade and you know it. You have to get out Callie, because she's totally controlling of your life, and you're so afraid to fail another relationship you're letting her take what she wants from you. »

Callie was stunned by Mark spontaneous peach. He must have been thinking about it a long time as he was so sure of each word that he just said. Each word said was like a slap to the face

« Do you even love her? » Mark questioned. « Do you really love her? Or are you just in love with the idea of being love?"

« You're wrong. She would never do that. Not on purpose. » Callie shook her head in disbelief. « She loves me. She's making me happy... »

« Really? You're happy? You have not even mourned your past life. You haven't properly mourned the loss you have been through. And I'm not only talking about Terry, Callie. » Mark sadly said, causing Callie to start to cry. « I'm talking about your whole life, and in it, there's your wife. You weren't able to deal with your loss. And look where you are now. »

« You have no idea what you're talking about Mark... »

« I know! » Mark snapped. « I really tried to, but how could I know when neither of you would tell me what make you split up? »

« It's none of your business... » Callie retorted, hurt by what her friend was insinuating.

« I could have helped you. I could have done something to protect your family. » Mark said, as he cried too.

« No Mark, it was impossible. Arizona was mad at me and I was so mad at her... » Callie tried to explain, but she didn't want to go too far.

« About what? It wasn't your fault or hers if he died! He was sick... »

« I... I can't talk about that! » Callie yelled. « I can't! »

« Why! What was the problem? » Mark yelled back. « Tell me what happened! »

« She was mad at me for too many reasons, but she was also disgusted by herself... » Callie confessed, making things harder for Mark to understand.

« Tell me Torres... »

« I... When we learned about Terry's condition, there was some options we should have considered. » Callie tried to explain « We knew he would die. It was for sure. But the doctors proposed us a therapeutic abortion. »

« Oh... » Mark simply say. As a surgeon, he knew the two mothers had probably been given different choices, but when hearing it from Callie was maybe the beginning of a deeper explanation.

« Arizona agreed to that. She was repeating what the specialist told her, that having Edward syndrome meant he was incompatible with life. » Callie bitterly remembered. « He could have die at any moment in her own belly and it could have been a danger for Olivia. Which is something that Arizona didn't want. But I didn't think the same way. I wanted our family to be whole... Maybe I was just being selfish, but I wanted to see him, I just wanted to meet him. And so, we were butting heads because we were in complete opposition. »

« I'm sorry Callie, I had no idea... » Mark stated sadly, his voice breaking.

« I insisted, and we argue over it. It was the beginning of the end. It was awful, and we have said things to each other I never think I'd tell her one day. She said didn't want to face another loss. She told me that, she even begged me not to let that happen again. » Callie explained. « And then one day, she took two weeks away from us. She left one morning without telling anyone where she was going. I was so mad and scared. And then, one day she was back, and she told me she was okay with my point of view. »

« What happened next? » Marks asked, not aware Arizona had disappeared during her pregnancy.

« When the babies were born, she became ultra possessive toward Terry. She wouldn't leave him, even sleeping with him in her arms, remember? » Callie continued.

« Yeah... »

« She was totally focused on him, she barely looked at Olivia and Travis. I'm not even talking about me. All I wanted was for the five of us to spend as much time as we can. We didn't have a lot of time, which we knew, but it wasn't possible. » Callie cried. « When Terry passed away, things worsened so fast. She reproached me about things and I did the same back. We were just screaming at each other all day and night. Olivia was having trouble eating and Travis was having nightmares. All whilst Arizona was shutting everybody out. And I had just lost my son... »

« I just wished I have been there for you. » Mark said. « No one is blaming you here Callie. »

« I am! Because I didn't ask for help and I bailed. » Callie stated. « I bailed because I wasn't able to face everything. So, I left home and stayed a hotel room for the three weeks after Terry's funeral. Arizona didn't even try to contact me. I have to deal with my job, my kids and my depressed wife who wouldn't talk to me. »

« I'm so sorry Callie... » Mark regretted. « But you loved each other, right? How did you ended up divorcing just a few weeks later? You could have go to a therapist or something? »

« I made the call. Nobody was happy. I pushed her too hard, I gave her an ultimatum to show up at my room and to talk to me, to try to figure things out. And she never came. » Callie confessed. « So, I went to our home, and I confronted her. Telling her I needed her and that I wanted to do everything I could to save us. She just told me she hadn't been able to save our son, so she wasn't worth fighting for. She expressed to me that she couldn't even look at me because it was my fault as I insisted that we should continue with the pregnancy, which resulted in her losing another person she loves »

« She wasn't thinking straight, she was just lost, and sad. » Mark tried to say.

« So was I Mark. » Callie cut him off. « And I couldn't face it. I knew she didn't meant it, but in a way, I was scared she would leave me one day or another. So, I made the call. I decided to leave her before she left me. Then, a month later, while she was trying to get back to me step by step, I... » Callie stuttered « I sent her the divorce papers... »


	10. Chapter 10

_**Thanks for all your support!**_  
 _ **This chapter wasn't corrected, so all grammatical mistakes are mine**_

 _ **Enjoy chapter 10**_

...

Callie was exhausted when she got home that night.  
She let herself sank down in the couch and tried to put everything together. The emotion of revealing how she ended up her mariage to Mark had been the culmination of that evening.

It was the first time she ever confessed it to anyone, and it was relieving and traumatic at the same time.

She was asking herself thousand of question and her head was spinning. She was realising things she had tried to avoid to think about for years and it was really hard to accept.

Mark had find the words to make her questionning the real value of the life she was building.

Most of all, she was shocked of Penny's presumed action. How could she had done that to her ? But maybe it wasn't right. Maybe the kids had heard them talk at home... Maybe Mark was fooling her and he had looked in her files because he was suspecting something was going on ?

No, of course he wouldn't. So she had to face it... Penny had really let the cat out.

Even if she had already drink a little too much at Joe's, she grabbed a glass and filled herself a dhot of tequilla. She was drinking it when she heard the front doo opening.

« Hey ! » Penny greeted her with a bright smile as she removed her jacket and her shoes before joining her in the leaving room. « How was your night ? You had fun I hope. My shift was terr... »

Raising her eyes to the woman she was living with, Penny's eyes bulged when she saw the alcoohol Callie was apparently drinking.

She rushed to her and took the glass, yelling « What is that!Are you crazy ! »

She went to the kitchen and emptied it in the sink and get back to Callie who was looking a ther girlfriend with a dark gaze.

« What's wrong with you ? It's not... » Penny tried to say but noticedthe anger in Callie's eyes. « What happened Darling ? Did you get a test ? It didn't work out ? »

« It didn't. » Callie stated coldly.

Penny's features softened and she reached Callie thinking the brunette needed comfort.

« Stop ! » Callie coldly said, the alcohol getting to her head.

« Callie... » Penny insited. « I … I'm as sad as you are... You're not al... »

« Why did you tell it ? » Callie cut her of. « Why in the hell did you tell it around ! »

« What ? » Penny lied. « I didn't... It's... I get it you're mad but I... »

« I know what you did Penny ! Travis knows it. He even thinks I'm already pregnant ! » Callie yelled. « He heard you at the day care with some nurses... Apparently you were letting everybody know how happy we were bla bla bla ! » Callie bitterly said. « You promised me we would wait until the second trimester!Telling a friend we were trying, that, I can understand ! But making sure my kids hear it and gushing about it... »

Penny was so unready to see her girlfriend so angry, she was totaly lost. She tried to answer but was unable to gave her any reason knowing she was the only one a fault.

« I didn't mean to. Believe me Darling... It... just happened... » Penny lied again. « I... who told you ? »

« It doesn't matter ! » Callie snapped. « What were you trying to do ? Marking your territory ? Making sure everybody around would know I was carrying your child ? You did the same thing for the wedding ! We were just talking about it as a possibility in the future and you spread the news throught the hospital without informing me ! »

« I get that you're mad but can we take a minute to talk about ... » Penny hesitated. « About the fact that it failed ? »

Penny's eyes were beginning to fill with tears but for the first time since she met the woman, Callie felt like it was fake, as Mark told her.

« It didn't work because I didn't went to the appointment ! » Callie confessed loudly. « You weren't there and, as horrible as it can be for you to hear it, I was relieved when I received the text telling me you were stuck in surgery. »

« What are you saying? » Penny mumbled. « How dare you do that ! You are kidding right ? It's not possible.. »

« I cancel the appointment. I realised I wasn't ready to have a kid weeks before. » Callie confessed. « I wasn't ready because I didn't want it. »

« Callie, you must be under a lot of pressure. Between work, the kids, all our projects... I'm sorry I know I've been a little off lately but... »

« It had nothing to do with you Penny ! It is about me ! I don't want another child. » Callie confessed bursting into tears.

It was the ambivalence of her confession which was making her emotionnal. She was angry, relieved, disapointed and totaly lost at the same time. She felt the past year she dated the younger redhead was so complicated and so tense. Suddenly she knew Mark was right but it was really difficult to admit to herself.  
It wa like her life was sliping away from her one more time.

« I should have had the guts to tell you the truth, but you were so eager, and happy and you were always pushing me. » Callie explained. « You didn't give me any choice. »

« Are you out of your mind ! You're saying I force you to do it ? You are a grown up ! You can make you own choices Callie ! What is this about ? » Penny yelled louder. « I won't let you say that. »

Callie grabbed the tequilla bottle who was on the coffee table next to her and in a sudden move threw it at the other side of the room. She didn't know what to think or to say anymore and it was the only gesture she was able to do to show the other woman the level of her frustruation.

« I can't believe I had to hear that from Arizona ! Travis was so upset he told her the news... » Callie explained.

« Oh, so it's her who told you that ? » Penny sarcastically laughed. « I ddn't see that coming, but of course, allmighty Arizona Robbins must have been thrilled to drag me in the mud right ? »

« This has nothing to do with Arizona ! It's about you telling my kids something they weren't ready to hear. And without consulting me ! » Callie snapped.

« Of course it had to do with her ! You think I'm stupid ? She can't stand to see us happy ! » Penny snorted.

« Are we really Happy Penny ? » Callie asked.

« See her little shenanigans worked. Look at you ! You're taking the side of that cunt again ! » Penny bitterly retorted.

« I'm not taking side ! And don't insult her please ! She's the mother of my child for god sake ! »

« Don't worry ! I know that. You are always remembering me of that details. » Penny smuged. « but don't try to make me the bad guy here Callie ! You lied to me ! We were going to have a family and you lied to my face, for days ! »

« I'm not proud of that. But you did it too. » Callie replied as she turned to get upstairs, ending the endless argument. She went to their bedroom and grabbed a suitcase, and putt some clothes in it.

« Callie please ! What are you doing ? » Penny asked as she entered the room.

« I need time to think, and space. » The brunette coldly replied. « I'm going away for a while. »

« No... » Penny grabbed her angry girlfriend wrist and twisted it very hard behind her back making Callie dropping the clothes whe was holding and crying in pain. « You're not going anywhere ! You understand me ? »

Surprised by the seriouness and the anger of Penny's tone, Callie was just able to remain on her feet as she felt the redhead pushing her violently against the wall.  
She smashed Callie's face against it, making sure the other woman would understand.

« You're not leaving me Callie, it's not going to happen. »

Penny twisted Callie's wrist harder and slammed her body one more time against the wall.  
The ortho surgeon was totaly stunned and it took her a moment to realise how far the things had gone. She felt Penny's hold softening and she slowly came back to the reality.  
Penny made her turn to face her, and softly stroked her cheek, but Callie flinched at the contact.

« I know you're mad, but we're going to talk about it quietly tomorrow when you'll get back to your mind darling. » Penny said, in a weird tone which made Callie's body tense. « We're going to bed now, and we will have a real, serene conversation about your behaviour in the morning. »

She patted the older woman cheek as if she was lecturing a 10 years old kid and stepped back, never leaving her eyes from her fiancé.

Callie swallowed hard, she was like frozen in place but she knew she had to do domething fast or she might regret it.

« Who are you ? » She asked Penny. « What am I doing here ? »

Without thinking twice, she grabbed the suitcase she tried to fill a few minutes earlier, and imediately Penny was by her side, trying to make her drop it by grabbing the luggage and pushing Callie.

« You are crossing a line here Callie » the redhead grumbled, trying to obtrude.

And it was at that moment Callie realised she had to get out of that house qickly. She snatched her suitcase from Penny's grip violently, making her falling on the bed.

« Don't you ever talk to me that way Penny ! » Callie screamed angrily. « I don't want to see you again ! You show me the real you tonight and I don't want to see you around me, or around my kids ! »

Knowing she had to leave as fast as possible the house, Calie walked out of the room and took her car key in the lobby before trying to open the front door.

« Callie ! » Penny yelled. « Please ! Wait ! You can't do this ! You can't leave me ! »

Callie felt the pain and the vulnerability in her girlfriend voice, but she wouldn't gave in, not this time.

« I have to go. » She simply stated. « I need space, and time away from you. »

« No ! Please ! » Penny whined. « I'm sorry ! I can't live without you ! »

She suddenly wrapped her arms around Callie's waist from behind, and started kissing her neck. Callie closed her eyes. She was grateful to be back to her and to not have to see the devastation on her face.

« I need you Callie. »

Callie managed to escape the dangerous embrace and opened the door, her eyes filled with tears.

« Good bye Penny... »

...

For a few years, she was having trouble to fall asleep.

It began the month after the plane crash and then it was back time to time. She was used to it but she hated it.

So when she woke up with a start at 4 in the morning, it took Arizona some times to regain consciousness. It was not a nightmare, it was not a phamtom pain episode... It was just someone banging at her door.

Her first reaction was to go straight to the front door, trying to avoid the noise to wake her children up.

But who could that be ? If it wasn't a stranger trying to fool her, it could just be a drunk Mark.

She sighed, putting her prostetic on and walking to open to him.

What had he done again ? Fight with a stranger in a bar ? Be caught by Lexie while cheating on her ? Loose a patient ?

She got up from the bed, noticing it was raining outside. A generous and endless rain like only you can only see in Seattle.  
She grabbed her old grey hoodie on the kitchen counter and put it on, feeling the cold of the house.  
She checked her phone and there was nothing from her friend. Was it really him ?

Hesitating a second she put the security chain, just in case...

« Stop banging ! » Arizona warned. « The kids are sleep... »

She half opened the door and gasped at the vison in front of her.

« Calliope ? »

...

 _ **Reviews are really welcome ;)**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**One more time, thanks for your support!**_  
 _ **I love to read your reviews!**_

 _ **There won't be any update for at least two weeks because I'm going on a big trip to Japan!**_  
 _ **As I'm not sure I'll have time to write or to post during that time, I'm not going to promise you anything. But be sure that the story will continue as soon as I'll come back! THis chapter was not corrected so all mistakes are mine.**_

 _ **Enjoy it!**_

...

« Calliope ? »

Callie was surprised when her ex wife opened the door and immediately felt stupid for her reaction.

Of course she would open the door but it was like if she just realised she had automatically drove to her place.

She didn't know where else to go. All her friends had their own life with their up and downs, but since a few months she found them a little distant.  
Mark had always warned her nobody liked Penny at the hospital, that everybody thought she and Arizona would be back together and were disapointed when they learned she had move on when she met the younger woman.

And now, totaly vulnerable and crying in front of Arizona, in the middle of the night, she realised how she had deluded herself. She wasn't able to react or to say anything, she was just crying as the rain was faling on her.

Arizona remained stuck, totaly caught of guard by that nocturn arrival. She was not ready to face Callie now, and especially not that way. But she had to improvise something before things get more awkward.

« What... Are you... » The blonde mumbled as she forced herself to react. « Why... I'm... »

« Oh my god ! » Barbara said, as she had been woke up by Callie loud knocks on the door. « Callie ? What happened ? Come in dear ! »

Callie hadn't seen her ex mother in law for more than a year and she misses her more than she thought she would. The two women were very close when Arizona was still Callie's wife and it had been really heartbreaking for Barbara to see the couple she loved so much broke up.

She had to deal with a devastated Arizona, but she didn't resent her ex daughter in law. She had always respected her and she was happy to see her right now. Even if it was obvious Callie wasn't doing well.

Barbara walked to welcome Callie in a warm embrace, not bothered by the fact her clothes were now soaked. She wrapped her arms around her and Callie immediately melt in the embrace, crying loudly as the older woman whispered reassuring words in her ears.

« What happened Darling ? Are you allright ? » She worried. « Arizona, go get some towel and make us some tea. We're going to the living room. »

Arizona's brow knitted for a second as her mother left her alone in the kitchen, walking Callie to the couch, her arms stil around her back.

She did what her mother asked her, still taken aback. What was happening ? Why did this had to happen when she was just trying to build somehting with Callie for their kid's sake ?  
She was in the process of accepting a kind of relationship with her ex wife in a way by agreeing to go to some « family » outing.

She took a towel from the bathroom closet and went back to the kitchen, preparing a tray with two cup of tea and some milk. She knew Callie liked a little cloud of milf in her tea. She heard her mother and Callie talking but she didn't want to hear what they were chating about.

As the silence took place, She walked to the living room and put the tray on the coffee table, handing the towel to Callie who wasn't crying anymore.  
« Thanks. » the brunette smiled at her, realising the situation was very complicated for her ex wife.

Arizona didn't reply and sat on the opposite side of the couch, far from her mother, and furhter from Callie who was sitting on an armchair.

The two other women had already talk a little bit and she wasn't sure she should stay.

« I'm so sorry for you Callie. » Barbara said, her hand resting on Callie's tight in support.  
Callie smiled sadly, trying to dry her hair and her blouse.

« I've been so stupid... » Callie almost whispered. « I'm sorry to disturb you so late. »

« It's allright. You're always welcome here. You're family. »

Arizona internally gasped at her mother comment. Callie wasn't her family anymore, not in her mind, not since she sent her divorce papers, not since she dated Penny Blake. She was just her kids other parents.

« Take this. » Barbara continued, giving Callie a cup of tea. « It will warm you up. »

« Thank you Barbara. » Callie noded, relieved to find a good listener but embarassed to be in the same room as her ex wife. She took the milk pot and poured it in her tea. She noticed as she took the first sipe that the milk wasn't cold, and she knew Arizona had do it remembering her little habit. It made her smile, and she closed her eyes as she enjoy the hot beverage.

« I... I'm going to call a cab. » Callie tried to say.

« Non sense ! » Barbara cut her of. « You're staying here. We have a guest room, you 'll sleep there. »

« I don't want to intrude you. » Callie insisted. « I'm just so sorry for waking you up. »

« Callie, you can stay here as long as you want. » Barbara reassured her.  
Callie didn't know what to do. She couldn't look at Arizona who was now very upset. She noticed it because the blonde was moving her toes nervously and it was a sign.

« I'm going to bed. » Arizona suddenly stated, standing and leaving Barbara and Callie alone, surprised by the speed she left the room.

Sighing in annoyance, Barbara stood up and smiled at Callie.

« I'll be right back dear. Just drink your tea. I will give you some dry clothes and show you the room ; ok ? »

« Barbara, I don't want to bother her. » Callie said sadly.

« You're not bothering anyone Callie. Don't ever think that. » Barbara reassured her.

She walked to her daughter's room knowing she was about to be shout at.

She knew Arizona would be pacing in front of her bed, ranting, biting her mails and eventually screaming.

She didn't took the time to knock and entered the room.

« What is wrong with you. » She told her daugher.

« I can't Mom. I'm sorry. » Arizona said, but her reaction wasn't what Barbara expected. She was crying silently, visibly affected by the situation. « She can't stay here. »

« Arizona. She had nowhere else to go. She's not okay and she need support. » Barbara tried to explain.

« It's going to disrupt Travis and Olivia ! They can't see her here tomorrow morning. » Arizona said. « They won't understand and ... »

« They're going to be thrilled Arizona ! It's their dream to see you two together. » Barbara said. « I mean, together as two civil adult, not as a couple ! »

« I'm not ready to see her for two hours at the park with our kids and you want her to sleep under my roof ? » Arizona argued. « It's not happening. I can't do that. »

Arizona started to freak out and Barbara knew it wasn't good.

« Listen to me darling. The children won't see her. I'm going to ask her to go before they wake up. She had to be at the hospital early anyway. » Barbara explained. « And tomorrow, we'll talk to them and we'll explain their Mama will be here with us for a few days. »

« Are you kidding ? » Arizona sarcastically replied. « No way ! I can't do this. »

« She left her girlfriend ! » Barbara explained. « She left her and she needs time away from her. »

« She can go to a hotel ! » Arizona retorted.

« She's going to stay here for a few day. Please, do this for the kids. They're really upset lately, and having you both around will cheer them up. » Barbara stated. « Let's say until monday ? »

Arizona gave her mother a sad smile but she knew she was fighting a lost battle. Even if there was surely other possibility, Barbara was right about their children, they needed their parents.

« Ok... » she surendered as she burst in tears, making Barbara rushed to her side.

« Hey, hey, what's wrong Honey ? » Barbara worried. « I know it's not comfortable. But if it upset you that much... »

« No, it's ok really. » Arizona wiped a tear from her cheek.

« Sure ? »

« Yeah... »

Barbara kissed her temple and stood up. « I'm going to show her the guest room ok ? And if you don't want to deal with her presence, I understand. But it's been almost three year since your divorce now. I thought you would be more comfortable with the situation now. »

« I can't. » Arizona smiled sadly between tears.

« Why ? »

« I can't because I lost her but I'm still in love with her... »


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm back from Japan!**  
 **The chapter is here. I hope you'll like it. It was not corrected, so it must be full of mistake. They are all mine.**  
...

Travis and his sister were quietly settled at the kitchen table, not really sure about what was going on. They were listening to their grandmother rant about the reason their Mama was at their Mommy's place that morning and they weren't really understanding it.  
They were just happy to cuddle with her and to see her. And so was Callie.  
Arizona wasn't there. Barbara had tried to make her come to the table earlier, but the blonde had close her door and wasn't answering her phone.  
So Barbara didn't want to worsen the situation and she had let her be. She was focusing on on her grand kids and her ex daughter in law for the moment, trying to make the children believe her little lies about Callie's presence.

« Isn't that exciting ? You'll have both your mommies every day... for a while... » Barbara smiled, stroking Travis hair.

« But for how long ? » Olivia asked as she get on her mother lap.

« I don't know ? » Callie mumbled, looking at Barbara.

And it was true. She had let the older woman convince her to stay at Arizona's place but was it really a good idea?  
Arizona seemed not okay with it, looking at her behaviour. She hadn't speak to Callie and was clearly avoiding the family this morning.

« For as long as she need to. » Barbara reassured the brunette. « She's home here too, right ? »

« Yay ! » Olivia beamed at her grandmother words, hugging her mother tightly.

« But it doesn't make any sense. » Travis said. « You're telling us you're here because the house is going to be repainted ? But we already repainted the kitchen and the living room last summer, and we didn't have to leave home during the construction works. So why would we have to do it this time ? And where is Penny ? »

« I... She... » Callie mumbled, freaking out immediately at her son discernment.

« She's out of town for a few days, right Callie ? » Barbara helped her.

« Right ! » Callie noded. « She's... She went to another hospital to... to learn other things and … that's it. »

Travis looked at her and knitted his brow. He wasn't really buying the story, but he was above all thrilled about the outcome of that situation.

« Ok... » the boy simply stated, finishing his pancake as Barbara stood up.

« So, it's time to go. I'm going to drive you to school. » she said. « And then i'm going to the park with this little one. She loves spending time with her grandma, right baby girl ? »

Olivia smiled at her and got down from Callie's lap, taking her grandmother hand in hers, eager to go outside playing on the swings.

« I can do it. » Callie proposed.

« Non sense. You're going to call your chief and taking the day off. You need it darling. Then you're going to relax and we'll be back at noon. » Barbara smiled as she opened the door. « Kiss your Mama goodbye and let's go ! »

…...

Callie did as she had been told by Barbara.  
She called in sick and was not even sorry to lie. She couldn't face Penny right now, and she knew she would be at the hospital that afternoon and that she would probably try to talk to her, or maybe threatening her one more time.

Remembering the event from the day before, she shook her head, still shocked by how rude and dark Penny had appeared to her.

Her wrist was still sore, and she could see bruises showing already.

She felt so stupid. How couldn't she have not seen the real Penny, the one Mark had warned her about more than once, the one Meredith and other friends had talked to her about.  
She felt even more stupid to have run to her ex wife house. Even if she had been taken care of by Barbara, she knew Arizona wasn't living the situation that well.  
What was she doing here ?  
The only good things was the joy on her children face when they saw her in the kitchen this morning. They had rushed in her arms and hugged her so tightly.  
She needed to think about what she was going to do next. She couldn't keep living that way, something had to change.

But for now, she needed to relax, and she decided to take a warm bath and to forget about the world.

At the opposite side of the house, Arizona was laying on her bed, her eyes tied to the ceiling. She was upset by the confession she made to her mother a few hours earlier.  
She hadn't been able to admit it to herself for so long. But it was the truth, she was still in love with Calliope Torres.

Hearing the car leaving, she knew the kids and her mother had left, and probably Callie too. She had to be at the hospital in two hours and she could use of coffee right now.  
She stood up and walked to the kitchen, trying to forget about last night.  
She couldn't let her mother dictate her what she had to do. She was a grown up, a single mother, doubled certified surgeon, and it was her house, so her rules, right ?

So tonight, she would stay at the hospital in an on call room and she will text Callie to tell her she couldn't stay longer there.

Once in the kitchen, She noticed the two mug of coffee in the sink and sighed in relief. Callie was really not there.

She grabbed the remote control and switch on the tv. Not that she really care about what was on the screen, but she liked to have some background noises when she was alone in the morning.  
She began her morning routine, still convinced she was home alone.  
Two french toast, a mug of coffee and a glasse of fresh orange juice to start that long day. She put her toast on a plate and took the jam pot. She then turned to settle at the table when she almost bumped into the only person she didn't want to face.

« I'm sorry ! » Callie said as she stepped back to give Arizona space. She felt the tension building in her ex wife body. « I didn't mean to scare you. I just forget my phone there. »

Not wanting to communicate, Arizona gaze imediately dropped to the floor, avoiding brown concerned eyes.  
She restrained a sighed and walked to the table, sitting and trying with everyhting she had to avoid any kind of contact with Callie.

« Listen, I know you're not really okay with me being here. And I'm sorry I'm intruding your personnal space right now. » Callie apologized. « But I won't stay here for a long time, I promise. »

Arizona closed her eyes and swallowed hard at Callie's word.

The last time she had promises her something, it had been a lie.

« We told the kids the morning I'll be staying for a few days, so, if you're okay, I think I'll stay one more night, and then, I'll left. » Callie continued. « But you should have seen their face this morning. They were so happy. As I told you the other night, I think we need to do things as a family, for them. »

Arizona grabbed the remote control and increased the TV volume, in a childish attempt to make Callie shut up.

« Can you... » Callie tried to make her communicate. « Can you at least look at me, please ? »

Arizona suddenly raised her head and looked directly in Callie's eyes.  
Callie smiled at her and tried to read any emotion in the blonde's gaze. She could see panic, anger and fear. They were very dark and Callie knew it meant she wasn't really open to talk.

« We'll do as you want. If you want me to go, then I'll go. » Callie said, trying to ease the tension. « I don't want to embarass you. I... I'm sorry. »

Still not talking Arizona stood up and get to the sink under Callie's confused eyes.  
She emptied her plate and her glass in it. She had not even touch it.

« Arizona... Please... Don't do that. » Callie almost begged. « Can you try to tolerate me, at least tonight ? They will be so happy to have diner with the both of us. I swear I'll go to a hotel after that. I won't stay here for the night if that's what you want. »

« You... You can do whatever you want. You always have anyway. » Arizona stated coldly. « I don't care if you stay here. I just don't want to deal with you. I can't do it. But I want the kids to be happy. And if you being here make them happy, then you can stay as long as you want. But leave me alone when they're not around, please. »

Tears threatening to roll on her cheeks, Arizona remained in front of the sink, not able to face Callie one more time.

« I'm going to work anyway. » She said, walking to grabb her jacket and her key car. « I don't know if I'll be back for diner. I'll text my mother. »

« I... Okay. » Callie mumbled. « I... Than you for... for letting me stay. I'll be gone tomorrow. »

Arizona sighed one more time and really looked at her ex wife for the first time in month. She could see Callie was exhausted, dark lines surrounding her amazing brow eyes.  
It broke her heart to see the woman she loved so vulneralbe. Callie had always be so strong and confident when they were together.

That's when she was about to go she noticed Callie was holding her left wirst, massaging it slowly.

Without thinking twice, and surprising herself by the gesture she was about to do, Arizona reached her ex wife and took her hand in hers, pulling away her massaging hand from the bruised skin.

Looking at the visibly swollen wirst, Arizona studied it with her doctor reflex.

« Ouch... » Callie cringed when Arizona's touch hurt her.

« What happened ? » Arizona asked, regretting it immediately. « I mean... You should put some ice on it. »

Callie withdrew her hand and noded politely.

« Yeah, sure... »

« Did someone did that to you ? » Arizona asked. She knew those kind of bruises were most of the time the result of contention occuring in fight or assault.

« No, it's nothing. » Callie lied.

« What happened Callie ? » Arizona worried, the piece of the puzzle connecting in her mind.

« I... » Callie tried to say as she was saved by the bell by her phone buzzing.

She rushed to take it and answer as fast as she could, avoiding that awkward talk with Arizona.

« Hello... » Callie said, immediately recognizing the voice of the person calling her. « Don't you dare... What? No, I won't ! »

As fast as she had take the call, she hung up, switching off her phone at the same time, her breathing becoming louder and louder.

« Callie ? What's wrong? » Arizona asked again, now more worried than ever. « Why did you came last night ? What happened to you ? »

Too upset to do anything else, Callie just bite her lips and fled to the guest room slamng the door behind her.

Arizona walked after her, the door closed in front of her. She only heard her bursting into sob.

Feeling not legitimate to help her, Arizona just let her finger rest a moment on the door, devastated by what she just witnessed.  
After so many years apart, they were almost like strangers.

It was maybe time to talk and to try to build some kind of relationship between them, for their children's sake, and for themselves too.

...

 ** _Reviews are welcome!_**


	13. Chapter 13

_**I'm so sorry to post that chapter so late!**_  
 _ **But here it is, as a late christmas present ;)**_  
 _ **It was not corrected so please, excuse my mistake!**_

 _ **And Reviews are always welcome!**_

 _ **...**_

When she came back home that night, Arizona wasn't really sure about what she should do.  
There was something wrong with Callie, she knew it, and just thinking about it was making her sick to her stomac.

Not so long ago, she would have ignore it. To be honest she wouldn't even have known it.  
It was so simple when she was trying to ignore everthing about her ex-wife. Trying because she didn't want to know how Callie was happy without her.  
But she was clearly not happy.

She had been thinking about it all day long and it was driving her crazy.

She was concerned about her ex wife all of sudden and she shouldn't. Admitting out loud she was still in love with her to her mother was already something she shouldn't have done, but it was too late.  
She took a deep breath and opened the door of her house and for the first time in months, she was welcome by the sweet sounds of her children laugh. Coming from the kitchen, the giggling made her immediately smile.

She smeled a familiar recipe coming to her nose. Her mother had made her famous lasagna for sure.

This how she had always wished her life would be. Filled with happiness and family time, surrounding a delicious meal.  
She took her jacket off and put her key on the coffee table, trying not to make her presence known. They were having a great time and she didn't want to break it by being awkward toward the mother of her children.  
Walking in silence to the kitchen she took a glimpse of the scene she had always dreamed to live. Callie seemed so carefree and the children were so excited, teasing their grandmother and laughing with her. It was almost too good to be true.

She sighed, wishing this was her life. This moment was so precious, she didn't feel like she should distrub it by joining them.  
She was about to step back and disapear in her room when someone knocked at the door.

Arizona sighed one more time, wishing Callie or the kids wouldn't hear it. She walked back to the front door and opened it, wanting the new comer to go as fast as possible.

She opened the door and there was the only person she din't want to see.

« What are you doing here ? » She whispered.

« I'm looking for my fiance. » Penny stated. « I know she's here and I need to talk to her. »

Penny's voice was colder than usual and something in her eyes made Arizona gulped.

« I don't know what you're talking about. I was just having diner with my family so please, go back to your place and leave us alone. »

Arizona was about to close the door at Penny's face when the red-head woman put her foot on the treshold to prevent it.

« What the hell... » Arizona said louder than she wanted to, surprised by Penny's action. « Are you crazy ? »

Pushing the door and Arizona by the same gesture, Penny entered the house without have been invited and began to look for a proof of Callie's presence in her ex-wife house.

Having heard the noises from the kitchen, Travis and Olivia ran to the living room, thinking they would welcome their mother coming back from work. Their smile faded away quiclky when they saw Penny in the middle of the room.

« Hey baby ! How are you ? » Penny said, trying to cool down to not upset the children. « I'm so happy to see you ! I miss you ! Where is your Mama ? I need to talk to her ? »

Travis immediately felt something was not normal and he was about to answer wrongly to Penny request when Callie arrived her body freezing when she saw Penny in the middle of Arizona's living room.

« She's right here ! » Olivia said to Penny, a big smile on her face. « We are eating lasagna and we are wainting for Mommy to come home. »

« I can see that. What a nice picture...» Penny fakely smiled at her, as the little girl saw her mother and ran to her.

« Mommyyyyy ! » she yelled, still not getting the tension in the room. Arizona took her in arms and kissed her cheeks.

« Hi baby... » She said, not leaving her eyes from Callie.

She could feel her ex wife totaly scared and taken aback.

« Calliope ! Finally... » Penny said, walking to hug her fiancé, but Callie was so affraid that she automatically stepped back. « What's wrong honey ? Why are you doing this ? »

« Travis, Olivia come here. » Barbara asked her grandchildren as she joined them. « We are going to get ready to go to bed, okay ? »

« But Mommy just arrive... » Olivia whinned. « And I wanted her and Mama to read a story to me tonight. »

« Tomorrow baby, I promise. » Arizona told her daughter as she walk with her to Barbara, taking Travis hand in hers in passing. « I think Mama needs to talk with Penny, and we are going to help Grandma cleaning the table, ok. »

Following their mother to the kitchen, Arizona tried to remain calm even if she was now sure about what was going on.

…

Once the kids and her mother were getting upstairs she got back to the living room where Penny was passing and talking alone. Callie was a the same place, she didn't seem to have move at all and she was clearly upset.

« It's not possible Callie. You are not being reasonnable. You need to come home and to talk to me. I don't know how you could have done this to me, but we'll figure something out, right ? We are going to talk and you're going to do what I'm asking you right ? »

« What's going on here ? » Arizona cut Penny's monolog

Jumping in surprise, Callie turned to see Arizona just behind her.

« Oh great you're here. » Penny sarcastically said. « I'm going to say it once, and then I won't say it again. Calliope is my future wife. She's not a part of your life anymore. So I'd like you to stop harrasing us. »

« What ? » Arizona retorted. « Did I mis something here ? »

« Calliope and I had a fight because of you and the pressure you are putting on the children. » Penny lied. « She don't want them to see you as the bad guy in the story. So she won't tell you what she really think. But I think that it will be better for you to back of of my family ! »

« I Don't know what's going on between you and Callie, But I'm going to ask you to leave my house. » Arizona firmly retorted. « Apparently there's some thing to figure out between the both you, and now is not the time, and certainly not the place. »

Swallowing her anger to avoid making a scene, Penny clenched her teeth. She couldn't stand Arizona at all, and listening to her coment was making her furious.

« Come on Callie, we need to go. » She simply stated, walking the door.

« No... » Callie replied as Penny took a couple of second before tunring back to her.

« Callie... Not now please. » Penny faked a smile. « You need to stop behaving like that. »

« Please, Penny, just go. » Callie almost begged, she felt the situation could worsened at any moment. « I'll talk with you in a few days, but right now, I just need space and time to ... »

« To what ? » The redhead cut her off. « Stop acting so childhishly ! So what ? We had a fight ! It's normal ! We are a couple, we have a lot of project, so it's totaly logical we argue some times. »

« It's not just some argument, and you know that... »

Arizona was listening to the couple from a distance but she could tell Callie wasn't feeling safe. And it was making her crazy.

« I think the message it's clear now Blake, so get out of my house before I call the police. » Arizona tried to end the conversation.  
She grabbed Penny elbow and dragged her outside of her home. Surprised by the sudden move, the younger woman wasn't able to stop the blonde who closed the door behind her.

« Don't touch me ! » Penny finally yelled as Arizona physically push her out of her property.

« Don't you dare come back here. » Arizona warned her. « And don't try to bring me in your couple problem. I have nothing to do with that. Callie came here because apparently she wasn't feeling safe at your place... She's the mother of my kids, so she can stay here as long as she want, or need. But that's it. There's nothing more to the story. »

« I know that, don't worry. She's over you and she's been for a long time now. She's in love with me, and we are about to make our own family. She don't need her crazy depressed one-legged ex wife in her life. » Penny smugged, trying to annoy Arizona. « She'll come back to me. »

« Sure... » Was the only answer Arizona could give her, shattered between anger and a little bit of jealousy because she was thinking Penny was true.

She shrugged and left the redhead on the sidewalk. Something was definitively going on between Callie and Penny Blake and she was affraid she knew what it was.  
She was torned between protecting Callie and by keeping her distance to preserve herself from more dissapointment.  
She was so lost in her thought that she didn't heard the footsteps behind her and she only realised Penny had followed her when the youger woman grabbed her by the shoulder and made her turn to face her.

« What the hell... » Arizona said as Penny's fist punched her in the face hardly, making her loosing her balance and fell to the ground on her back, breaking a flower pot in the fall.

Penny didn't loose a second and rushed above her so called rival, grabbing her by her collar and shaking the almost unconscious woman.

« Don't you ever try to steal my family ! » Penny threatened Arizona who was trying to remain awake, her nose bleeding a lot.  
At the same moment Callie, warned by the noises, walked to the frontdoor, fearing the worst.

As she opened it, she could only yell. « Penny ! Stop ! Barbara ! Call the Police! »

Penny was literally beating up Arizona, punch after punch. Callie ran toward her and pushed her aside, abruptly, making her fall on her side.

Then she rushed to Arizona who was now unconscious, her body lying on the grass.

« Oh my god ! » Callie Yelled, as Penny stood back up, almost not realising what she had just done. « What have you done ! »

« She... I... » Penny Mumbled, apparently realising wht she had just done. « I... She was not listening to me... She... ».  
Callis didn't even care about her soon to be ex fiancé at this point. The younge rwoman had already showed her dark side. But she didn't think herself she could go that far.  
The brunette got back to Arizona and tried to keep calm.

« Oh Arizona... I'm so sorry... » She said as she took one of her hand in hers. « It's going to be okay. We're calling an ambulance and everything is going to be ok. »

The blonde face was merely recognizable, the bruising already showing and her nose still bleeding. Callie wasn't even sure she was still conscious.

« Talk to me please. I know it hurts, but talk to me. » Callie pleaded.

« I... She came out of nowhere... » Arizona mumbled, letting Callie breathe in relief. « I didn't ear her. There's no need to call an ambulance...»

« Don't worry about her. Your mother called the cops. » Callie reassured her.

Callie turned her head fo a couple of second to see if Penny was still there and she could see her totaly petrified by her own action. What had just happened ?

« Don't worry, the ambulance will be here soon... » Callie said but stopped when she notices Arizona had lost consciouness. « Arizona ? Arizona ? No no no... Please ! »


	14. Chapter 14

**AN : / I'm deeply sorry for the late update but here it is...**  
 **All mistakes are mine, and there's a lot of them!**

 **...**

« Arizona ? »

A terrible headhache and trouble opening her eyes, that what's Arizona felt when she regain consciousness and heard her mother calling her name.

« Do you hear me sweety ? » Barbara asked her daughter as she hold her hand. « You're in the hospital, but you're okay. »

Arizona tried to answer but her throat was too dry to let any sound coming from her mouth.

« Just... Just try to relax. You're pretty bruised up, your nose his broken and your left cheekbone is cracked. but everything else is okay. »

Barbara served her a glass of water and tried to restrain her tears as she felt her daughter struggling when she tried to drink. She was still under the shock of the scene she had witness.  
She never thought Penny Blake could assaulted Arizona.  
Sure the two women were not meant to be friend, but how could things had gone that far so fast.

Arizona managed to take a sip of water and put the glass back on the table next to her bed.  
« Where am I ? I hope I'm not at Seattle Grace ! Where are my kids ? » She blurted out remembering everything that had happened.

« They're with Mark don't worry. » Barbara reassured. « You're at Seattle Pres'. I know you don't want to go to Seattle Grace. And the police arrested Penny. She's being interviewed right now. »

Arizona sighed and felt a little relieved by the news she just heard. She was now sure she had seen clearly what was going on between Callie and her girlfriend.

Penny Blake had always been so cold and arrogant since the first time she had the opportunity to meet her. She had always thought her couple with Callie was odd, and not because of some inapropriate jealousy, but because she wa the total opposite of her ex wife.  
« Callie is on her way. » Barbara said. « I can go and see if she you want to see her ? »

« No... Can I... Can you leave me alone for a moment Mom Please ? » Arizona asked, needing some times on her own. « I can't deal with that right now. »

« I don't think it's a good idea honey, you just been assaulted and you need... »

« Mom please... Juste give me a few minutes please... I need to think... I need to figures some things out. » Arizona almost begged. She knew her mother wanted to help, but right nown she had too much things to process, and she was clearly in pain.

« Arizona... » Barbarra tried to interfere.

« Please mom... »

« Okay sweety. Just call me if you need anything I'll be just outside. » the older woman surrendered.

Barbara grabbed her purse and left the room unwillingly. But she had no oher choice. Her daughter had always been fiercely independent and she would give her some space for the moment.

As she opened the door and walked a few steps toward the nearest coffee machine, she heard Callie's voice at the end of the hallway. She was accompanied by two women and was loudly speaking with a nurse.

« I'm telling you, only family members. Hospital policy ! »

« Well I'm sure you're doing your job Miss, but I'm Dr Robbins wife, I'm the mother of her children and I'm here with my friends who appeared to be doctors and they would like to see her. » Callie repeated.

« I can assure you she's been taking care of by our best doctors. She's a very appreciate member of our staff and ... »The irritated nurses retorted.

« What's goin on here ? » a man interrupted the heated dialog. « I'm Dr. James Rolland and Dr Robbins is my patient, and as you've been told, you can not see her unless she gave me her approval. »

Callie was now really totaly frustrated. She was freaking out and was about to make a scene when Barbara approached.

« Callie ? What's going on here ? » She asked, joining the conversation. « And why are your colleague here with you ? »

« I... I just asked them to come to check on Arizona. » Callie explained. « This is Amelia Sheperd and Miranda Bailey. They both know her and they'd like to see of everything is done to treat her well. How is she ? »

« She's okay. But why did you bring them here ? Arizona had been treated and everything is okay. » Barbara said, knowing Callie didn't trust Seattle Pres'. « She's just tired and she... »  
« Where is she ? » a voice made everybody turned as a woman arrived near the group. « Is she okay ? What happen ? James ? Tell me ! »

Callie looked at her and wondered why this woman was showing such a distress. She was in scrubb and seemed freaked out.

« I was in surgery and I... » She ranted. « That's crazy ? Who would beat Arizona up ?Can I see her ? where is she ? »

Callie understood she was talking about Arizona and that made her feel irrationaly angry. She had never seen that woman and she was surprised to see how concerned she seemed to be about the blonde's whereabout.

« Room 748. » The nurse said as the woman just immediately go to Arizona's room.

Eveybody looked at her, taken aback by the unexpected event.

« Thank you Dr Rolland, I will take care of everything. » Barbara ended the silence, trying to understand everything and not wanting the situation to become more awkward. « She... Arizona asked me to stay alone for a moment so why don't we just go and have a coffee ? »

« We're going to the cafeteria, don't worry about that. » Amelia said. « Coffee for everybody ? Ok, let's go Miranda... »

She grabbed her colleague by he arm and walked away, feeling the two woment needed to talk.

« I'm sorry for that Callie. I don't know why they are so... » Barbara tried to say.

« Don't Barbara, it's okay. I mean... I don't have anylegal right to ask to see her wihtout her consent... It's totaly understandable. » Callie bitterly said. « It's just... The last time she was in a nhospital as a patient... I was... But I'm glad that she has friend here...»

« I understand Callie. » Barbara sadly smiled. « But don't worry, she's okay, and I'm sure she will be happy to see you later. »

« I'm so ashamed... » Callie confessed. « Penny... She's crazy... How could she do that ? How ? »

« I think you need to talk to her and really figure what you're going to do now honey. » Barbara said, as Callie's eye filled with tears.

« I'm so sorry...I would have never thought... » Callie mumbled. « How can you be so nice to me when she's been beaten up because of me ? »

« Oh Callie... It's not your fault ! It's Penny blake who assaulted Arizona, not you. Don't think that way. » Barbara said, taking Callie in her arms.

« I don't know what to do... » Callie confessed as she pulled away from Barbara's arm. « I mean... I know and don't want to see that woman anymore. I don't want her in my house, near my kids, near anybody I care about... I'm going to make sure nothing like that ever happen again. »

As she was speaking to Barbara, she noticed the surgeon who had interrupted her ealier getting out of Arizona's room and walking toward her and Barbara.  
Who was she ? Why has she rushed to Arizona's side ? The only Callie could feel right now was a sudden tension taking over her body.

« Hi... » the unknown woman quietly made her presence known by Barbara. « You're Arizona mother right ? »

« Hello, yes Arizona is my daughter. » Barbara politely replied. « And you are ? »

Callie watched the interaction between the two women and felt relieved noticing Barbara didn't knew her.

« I'm Stella Fairbank. I work here with Arizona. » the woman replied. « Arizona is aking for you. She's waiting for you. »

« Well she can wait a moment as she just threw me out of the room 30 minutes ago... » Barbara grumbled. « But thank you for telling me. I'm always glad to meet my daughter colleagues. »

« I'm very glad to meet you too. I wish it would have been under better circumstances though... » Stella said.

« What do you mean ? » Barbara replied.

« Well it might be a little soon, but Arizona and I are kind of dating. Well we're together. » Stella mumbled awkwardly. « Oh, sorry, I shouldn't have... I … I have to go... Don't pay attention to what I said... »

And with that, she was gone, living a stunned Barbara and frozen Callie behind her.

...

 **Let me know what you think and leave a review ;)**  
 **One more time, sorry for the mistakes!**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN : All mistakes are mine! I'm very sorry for that!**

 **Enjoy, and review ;)**

 **...**

There was excitement and stress at the same time, on both side.  
The day after her assault, Arizona was released from the hospital. She had staid the night in observation, partially to reassure her mother who was very persuasive when needed.

She was still in pain, but it was not what was on her mind at the moment.  
Standing in front of her own house, she was affraid to face her children. She didn't want to scare them with her bruised face. She didn't want to hear her mother asking her if she was ok.  
And she was most of all not comfortable to see her ex wife.  
Callie was there too. She had talk to Travis and Olivia and had requested to be here when they would see Arizona.  
She wanted to support her and to help the situation not being too much awkward.  
Arizona and her haven't talked directly though. They had exchanged a few texts and Barbara had planned everything. But Arizona knew it was going to be an emotional moment and she was not quite ready.

« You're good ? » April asked her friend.

« No, but let's do it. I hope they won't be too scared. » Arizona sadly replied, feeling April's hand rubbing her back. April had done her best to try and hide the bruises, but it was still really visible.  
From all her ex colleague and friends from Seattle Grace, April was one of the only person she was still in touch. She was her closest friend and she had been throught the loss of her own son. It had bound them in a very special way.

Walking to the doors, the two friends took a moment and Arizona took a deep breath before opening the door.

« Mommy ! » Travis rushed to his mother and embraced her tightly. It was enough to bring tears to his mother eyes.

« Hey big boy... » Arizona tried to hide her emotions, stroking her son's hair.

« Are you in pain ? Are you going to be okay ? » He worried as he broke the embrace to look at his mother's injured face.

« I'm okay. » Arizona replied, as she took his hand and walked with April to the living room where Olivia was on Callie's lap and Barbara was waiting for her.

« I'm okay, I promise baby. » She repeated. « Don't worry, it's just a little bruised, but it will go away in a few day. Aunt April and the doctors took good care of me, and I'm already home. »

She walked to the couch and sat, followed by April and Travis who wouldn't let go of her hand. He sit on her lap and buried his face in her neck, trying to hide his tears.  
Callie gulped at the scene. Olivia was silently obversing too and she seemed to hesitate to join them.

« You wan to go to Mommy ? » Callie asked her daughter, putting her from her lap to the ground as the little girl nodded almost shyly.

« Come here sweetie. » Arizona called her daughter who eventually rush to her side and took a moment to look at her.

« Is it right that Penny hurt you Mommy ? » the little girl asked.

« Well, yeah it's... » Arizona mumbled as Callie knew she had to say something.

« That's right Liv. I told you what happen, and you have to know that Mommy did nothing wrong. Penny did. And that's why she's going to be in trouble now. » Callie explained one more time.

« Was Penny mad at you ? Did you annoy her ? » Olivia asked again.

« Liv, baby Mommy didn't do anything wrong. It's just that Penny is sick, and some times, people can do stupid thing when they're sick. » Callie tried to explain.

« I don't want to see her ever again. » the little girl began to cry. « Because she broke Mommy and she's bad ! »

Taken aback by her daughter's question Arizona didn't knew how to react, but Barbara noticed it and walked to take her grandaugther in her arms and comforting her.

« You won't ever have to see her baby, I promise... » Callie sadly stated as she stood up and walk to her and took her from Barbara's arms.  
Travis finally raised his head and look into Callie's eyes deeply, looking for a confirmation.

« Never ever ? » He asked.

« Never ever ! » Callie reassured him.

After a few minutes of emotion, April broke the silence and talked.

« So, what do you guy's will say if we'll go upstair and we watch a dvd with Grandma ? » She asked a little too excited.

« I want to stay with Mommy... » Olivia pouted, walking to her mother and asking to be held by her.

« Come on Liv... » Travis said. « April is going to let us pick anything we want to see on Netflix ! »

Considering the offer, the little girl hesitate.

« I want to see Frozen ! » She requested suddenly.

« Noooooo ! Enough with Frozen ! » April replied. « Harriet want to watch it all the time ! I'm tired of it ! »

« Pleaaaasse ! » the little girl begged. « Just a little ! »

« We'll see... » April sighed, grabbing the two children by the hand and leading them upstairs, followed by a worried Barbara who knew a conversation was about to begin.

She kissed Arizona's temple and walked away, leaving her daughter and Callie alone.

« Thank you... » Arizona almost whispered. « Thank you for preparing them and for talking. »

« You don't have to thank me. » Callie replied, noticing Arizona wasn't able to look at her directly. « Arizona... I'm so sorry... »

« Don't... » the blonde replied. « You don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything. »

« I would have never think she could do that. » Callie continued.

« Well, apparently, she's been a little rough with you too, hasn't she ? » Arizona asked. « Listen, Callie, I get it. I had doubt before, I was wondering what was going on between the two of you, with you coming here in the middle of the night and the fear in your eyes. But tell me truth. Did she hurt you ? »

Callie gulped at her ex wife perspicacity. She had done everything to hide it, but apparently Arizona had notice something was wrong.

« No... » Callie sighed. « She didn't hurt me. She just... She's been a little rough. The night I came to your place, we had a fight. I have lied to her, she though I might be... I told her I was okay to have another child, and I didn't want it. I didn't go to the appointment and i didn't tell her. So she was mad at me and desapointed. We had a heated argument and she showed a side of her I had never seen... »

« Or never wanted to see... » Arizona corrected her.

« She... She grabbed me an threatened me, and I know i had to leave... » Callie shamely confessed. « First I was ashamed because I lied to her, but then, I was relieved. »

« What do you mean ? »

« I was relieved I have bailed. I was relieved to see her real face and personality, and that I could leave her without any real dammage. I mean, we're not married, We don't have kid together. »

« I get that, I'm glad you've been able to flee and that you open your eyes so quickly, but there is dammage Callie. Maybe not for you, and I'm not even talking about me. » Arizona spoke her truth. « I'm talking about Olivia and Travis. She was a part of their life. She lived with them for almost two years. They are going to have built a new life without her and deal with the violence she had showned toward me, even if they haven't witness it. »

« I'm so sorry... » Callie sobbed, realizing Arizona was right. « I'll do everything to make it up to them. I'll explain everything, they could go and talk about it with a shrink or whatever it takes for them to process it. »

Looking at Arizona, Callie saw her wincing in pain and trying to hide it.

« Are you okay ? Did you take anything for the pain ? » Callie asked.

« No I didn't. I don't want to. » Arizona replied.

« Arizona... » Callie retorted.

« It's not of your concern. » The blonde replied as she stood up and was about to go to her room. « I'm tired I'm going to take a nap. You can stay here as long as you want. But I think It wil be easier for everybody if you look for a new place as fast as possible. Or maybe you want to go back to your old place... Whatever... I think it will be easier. »

« Sure... I know that. I think I'm going to look for a new place, I can't stand to go back there. » Callie admitted. « I'm so sorry. For everything. »

« I already told you, you don't have to apologize. » Arizona replied. « I just want everything to go back to normal, i don't want to think about that. »

« You really want that ? » Callie asked. « Going back to normal... What does that even mean... »

« I don't really know... » Arizona admitted. « I think I just want the kids to be happy. »

Feeling pain and exhaustion taking over her, Arizona prefered to end the conversation before it took a deeper meaning. She didn't want to deal with Callie any longer for now, it was too hard.

« Good night Callie. » She almost coldly said as she walked away.

« Good night. And I'm happy you find your place at Seattle Pres'. People like you over there. And I'm glad you have find someone. » Callie lied, almost regretting blurting out her words.

« What ? » Arizona

« I know you are seeing that Dr Fair...Something. She introduced herself to your mother when you were at the hospital. » Callie explained, still annoy by the unexpected revelation.

« What are you talking about ? » Arizona gasped. « I'm not seeing anyone ! »

« It's okay Arizona, really. She seems nice. » Callie continued. « I'm glad you're moving on. »

« I'm not moving on... » Arizona scoffed. « I'm not dating anyone ! What are you talking about ! »

« Dr Fairbank, Stella if I remember well... » Callie said, totaly remembering the name of the mysterious surgeon. « Surgeon at your hospital apparently. She rushed to your room yesterday. Then she came out and talk to Barbara, intorducing herself as your girlfriend. »

« Are you kidding me ? » Arizona rolled her eyes as she looked for her phone in her pocket and shown Callie a pictures from the hospital website. « Is that her ? »

«Yeah... » Callie replied. « Oh she's in ortho ? »

« I'm not dating her ! » Arizona retorted. « We went on a date, a few weeks ago because April told me to. She had been asking me out for months and i had always decline. I just agreed and I make myself clear I didn't want to get inovlved with anyone. I thought she understood... I'm sorry she told you that, but believe me ! I've never been with her !»

« Listen Arizona, it's your life, you can date whoever you want. I have nothing to say. » Callie tried to keep a neutral attitude.

« No it's not true... » Arizona replied, her eyes filling with tears in front a puzzled Callie.

« Hey, what's wrong ? Don't cry please ! I'm sorry, I shouldn't mind your personnal life. As I told you, I know it's not my place. I have nothing to say. » Callie sadly replied.

« No … It's not true... You have everything to say... » Arizona said between tears.

« I don't understand... » Callie shook her head.

« I... I... » Arizona mumbled, not able to confess anymore. « I have to go. Good night. »

Totaly lost, Callie looked at her ex wife walking away as she sat back on the couch trying to understand what Arizona had try to tell her.

« She didn't mean... » She tried to focus. « She didn't mean... No... It's not... »

she knitted her brow and suddenly felt a shiver trhought her body which made her stood up.

« Wait ! Arizona Wait ! »


End file.
